Thursday, May 29, 2003
Today my bus rides quite interesting. On my way out, there was this couple sitting in front of me. I dunno why, but throughout the ride, the girl was just beating the guy. It's play, but it was still quite forceful. She was beating his neck, his arm, his thigh...all the way through. Talk about violent tendencies man. I can imagine next time if they're married and she's angry with him, he'll be in one kind of deep sh*t.
Then on my way home, this guy behind me was talking loudly on his phone until I think commuters up to six seats ahead can hear. Strangely though everyone's just looking out the window. (Maybe they're all listening but pretending that they aren't listening.) Anyway he was actually breaking up with his girlfriend over the phone, none too amicably. He lamented about various things, and raised his voice often, and used a number of vulgarities too. Note that I didn't want to listen, but my handphone battery was dying, so I couldn't listen to the radio, and he was sitting directly behind me. I was, in a way, a captive audience then. Anyway it sounded funny, the way he was lamenting about how unfair she treats him, how she uses him (as free transport), how she ignores him when she feels like it. He was basically painting her out as some kind of villainess, or tyrant. At a non-discreet volume of course. Strange how he sounds childish throughout the whole thing.
Downstairs of home, still no sign of cow cat. One stray cat roaming around though. Hurray! Bah! AVA couldn't get them all, those murderers. Anyway, I chanced upon these two elderly women who feed the cats everyday, so I went to ask them if they knew what happened. They were talking about the terrible news (about the culling) too. (Hmm...'the culling'...sounds like yet another possible Hollywood title. Just throw in the 'the' in front and you have it...) At first I miscommed a bit, and it sounded like they said that the cats were taken away. Then I realized that they were actually saying that they kept the cats themselves to hide them. Now that brought relief. Meow. Victory to the people! Petition against the tyranny of the men in power/all white!
Cull the humans! After all, scientists are saying it's more probable that the humans transmitted the (SARS) virus to the cats than the other way round.
Then on my way home, this guy behind me was talking loudly on his phone until I think commuters up to six seats ahead can hear. Strangely though everyone's just looking out the window. (Maybe they're all listening but pretending that they aren't listening.) Anyway he was actually breaking up with his girlfriend over the phone, none too amicably. He lamented about various things, and raised his voice often, and used a number of vulgarities too. Note that I didn't want to listen, but my handphone battery was dying, so I couldn't listen to the radio, and he was sitting directly behind me. I was, in a way, a captive audience then. Anyway it sounded funny, the way he was lamenting about how unfair she treats him, how she uses him (as free transport), how she ignores him when she feels like it. He was basically painting her out as some kind of villainess, or tyrant. At a non-discreet volume of course. Strange how he sounds childish throughout the whole thing.
Downstairs of home, still no sign of cow cat. One stray cat roaming around though. Hurray! Bah! AVA couldn't get them all, those murderers. Anyway, I chanced upon these two elderly women who feed the cats everyday, so I went to ask them if they knew what happened. They were talking about the terrible news (about the culling) too. (Hmm...'the culling'...sounds like yet another possible Hollywood title. Just throw in the 'the' in front and you have it...) At first I miscommed a bit, and it sounded like they said that the cats were taken away. Then I realized that they were actually saying that they kept the cats themselves to hide them. Now that brought relief. Meow. Victory to the people! Petition against the tyranny of the men in power/all white!
Cull the humans! After all, scientists are saying it's more probable that the humans transmitted the (SARS) virus to the cats than the other way round.
Wednesday, May 28, 2003
On my way home I realized that I haven't seen most of the stray cats that roam the area below my block. The word 'culling' suddenly leaps to mind. I spent a good five minutes walking around and calling for cow cat (heck, any cat!) but I don't see a single cat around. I fear the worst has happened. Argh. I know there's an online petition about this culling thing, but the DJ who gave the news I heard, for some strange reason had mentioned about it, talked about it, promoted it, and forgot to say the url for it. Think I'll start one for culling the ministers, if I only know the url...I think cow cat's dead by now then. Sheesh. I should have played with it a lot more when I had the chance.
To top the sinking feeling, when I came home, my mum told me about the recent murder in Tampines...the one where the supposed lover set afire this woman and himself in a room. From all descriptions, it sounded very much like the woman I frequently buy fried rice from for supper. It was surreal man...to find out someone you know has been murdered. I couldn't quite believe it, and I insisted on going down to check. My mum came along and I found the stall closed. Now this was a bad sign, since she opens everyday. So I went down to ask one of the other hawkers and one of them confirmed it.
It was weird...The last time I bought fried rice was only Saturday, and her murder was on Monday I think. That day I just felt like chatting with the woman, and I just felt like telling her that her fried rice was very good, and that I find it better than some of those 'zi char' (not sure if the dialect sounds correct) stalls. That happened to be the last things I've said and would ever say to her. I'm glad that I obeyed that impulse though. It's not like I know her well or what, but still...a sobering night.
To top the sinking feeling, when I came home, my mum told me about the recent murder in Tampines...the one where the supposed lover set afire this woman and himself in a room. From all descriptions, it sounded very much like the woman I frequently buy fried rice from for supper. It was surreal man...to find out someone you know has been murdered. I couldn't quite believe it, and I insisted on going down to check. My mum came along and I found the stall closed. Now this was a bad sign, since she opens everyday. So I went down to ask one of the other hawkers and one of them confirmed it.
It was weird...The last time I bought fried rice was only Saturday, and her murder was on Monday I think. That day I just felt like chatting with the woman, and I just felt like telling her that her fried rice was very good, and that I find it better than some of those 'zi char' (not sure if the dialect sounds correct) stalls. That happened to be the last things I've said and would ever say to her. I'm glad that I obeyed that impulse though. It's not like I know her well or what, but still...a sobering night.
Sunday, May 25, 2003
It's so hard to be an ementor sometimes, especially when you are seeing something happening that you feel responsible to do something about, and perhaps, there isn't anyone else who would do this sh*t. It was an extremely tough decision on my part to post a post I did that admonished some people last night, considering that I'm typically the person who tries to please everybody.
But sometimes, we have to do things we don't like to do, for what we perceive to be the greater good. Or have I misunderstood the greater good? I've noticed, to my dismay, the apparent disappearance of one regular person in some boards in the forum. Now unless I'm somehow misworded my post, this was not at all my intention. Seeing such a response, I deem that my attempt at getting things back in order has drastically backfired on me. I don't feel sorry for saying the things I did, but now I feel regretful, not sure if I could have said things better, or in a nicer way. It really sucks to be the bad guy sometimes. It happened once in my design project and I couldn't stand it. I really hate to see it happening again.
I only want and hope and wish to see the forum function as it is supposed to. Is there anything wrong with that? Or am I seeing things from that different a perspective from everyone else? It's horribly easy not to post anything meaningful, but what's the point? It may not be obvious, but frankly, the reason why all the ementors harp on meaningful posts is not so that the thread looks coherent, or wise or brilliant or whatever. We find out about a person through what a person says. We know what he/she thinks about, what he/she feels, what his/her values are. We get to know a person more only through the things he/she says. And likewise, we share what we are like through the things we say, the things we post. Deep down inside, the only thing that really matters is that I, and I'm sure everyone else, just want to get to know everyone else a little more. But how would you find out about me or I about you, if we only said, 'yeah' and 'lol' or similar things?
I'm not sure if the things I said had been misunderstood. I'm not sure if they were in fact understood the way they were supposed to, and only that I didn't expect such a result. But nonetheless, it is utterly, utterly agonizing and discouraging, to say the least. And yet, I refuse to take the easy way out by keeping quiet. Now that would be a true sign of my failure.
But sometimes, we have to do things we don't like to do, for what we perceive to be the greater good. Or have I misunderstood the greater good? I've noticed, to my dismay, the apparent disappearance of one regular person in some boards in the forum. Now unless I'm somehow misworded my post, this was not at all my intention. Seeing such a response, I deem that my attempt at getting things back in order has drastically backfired on me. I don't feel sorry for saying the things I did, but now I feel regretful, not sure if I could have said things better, or in a nicer way. It really sucks to be the bad guy sometimes. It happened once in my design project and I couldn't stand it. I really hate to see it happening again.
I only want and hope and wish to see the forum function as it is supposed to. Is there anything wrong with that? Or am I seeing things from that different a perspective from everyone else? It's horribly easy not to post anything meaningful, but what's the point? It may not be obvious, but frankly, the reason why all the ementors harp on meaningful posts is not so that the thread looks coherent, or wise or brilliant or whatever. We find out about a person through what a person says. We know what he/she thinks about, what he/she feels, what his/her values are. We get to know a person more only through the things he/she says. And likewise, we share what we are like through the things we say, the things we post. Deep down inside, the only thing that really matters is that I, and I'm sure everyone else, just want to get to know everyone else a little more. But how would you find out about me or I about you, if we only said, 'yeah' and 'lol' or similar things?
I'm not sure if the things I said had been misunderstood. I'm not sure if they were in fact understood the way they were supposed to, and only that I didn't expect such a result. But nonetheless, it is utterly, utterly agonizing and discouraging, to say the least. And yet, I refuse to take the easy way out by keeping quiet. Now that would be a true sign of my failure.
Saturday, May 24, 2003
Something interesting happened yesterday. I got sudden craving for Nasi Lemak. I was in Suntec, and went to the food court and ate the Nasi Lemak there. I was complaining to my gf that I miss the Nasi Lemak at my old house there. Some background info: I used to stay at Bendemeer, but the government drove a few blocks out, including the market with the best Nasi Lemak (in Singapore! in my opinion...). And you know what's the stupid thing? They freed up the land only to leave it to grow grass and have a nice field next a canal to beautify the landscape. Goodness. The government drove me out so that they can tear down the block I live in to do landscaping and grow grass? Argh. If this is progress, I dunno what to say. Anyway, the Nasi Lemak vanished for a while, and it took me a looong while to locate it (by accident) in a new coffeeshop.
Alas, the coffeeshop had to close down recently. Good thing I chanced to go there the day before it closed, and told the Nasi Lemak guy my handphone number, so that he can tell me where he moves to. Sadly, no call for a long time (1 month plus?) Yeah, so there I was, complaining to my gf about it. I had not mentioned anything about this prior to yesterday. And then, guess what? I bumped into the Nasi Lemak guy's brother (the two of them run the stall) at Suntec. He told me that they haven't found a new place, that's all. Man, I have an amazing knack for bumping into people, and often it's people I happen to think of shortly before I bump into them. God's blessing perhaps?
Heard a sad piece of news on the radio today. Something about the government going to step up measures to cull strays, specifically cats. (Cull means kill or put to sleep) I can't claim to be an animal rights activist or what, but hey, I like cats, and the stray ones are pretty cute. I mean, it's really for hygiene purposes meh? Or is it some paranoid people thinking that these cats are spreading SARs? Darn it, humans are more infectious than they are, for goodness' sake. I think it's bad enough that they are trying to sterilize the strays already. Now want to kill them? First they tear down my block to grow a grass patch, then now they go around killing cats? Maybe should sterilize the ministers. Wait they have too many offspring that control GLCs.
Heard a testimony from a girl who got baptized today in church. While everyone was hearing the good stuff she was saying, I dunno why, but I can only see something really bad. She said something like 'last time if I encountered something I really can't handle, I'll try to kill myself'. Now look here, this girl is like sec sch age only, and she was talking about pri sch days most probably. Now what kind of problems does a pri sch girl have that can possibly drive her to think of suicide? I mean, how many kids these days do play with the idea of suicide? I dunno about others who listened on avidly, but personally, that one statement of her sent alarm bells ringing all through my mind.
Whoa. Posting a lot here. Having been posting for a while. Indulge me lah.
Alas, the coffeeshop had to close down recently. Good thing I chanced to go there the day before it closed, and told the Nasi Lemak guy my handphone number, so that he can tell me where he moves to. Sadly, no call for a long time (1 month plus?) Yeah, so there I was, complaining to my gf about it. I had not mentioned anything about this prior to yesterday. And then, guess what? I bumped into the Nasi Lemak guy's brother (the two of them run the stall) at Suntec. He told me that they haven't found a new place, that's all. Man, I have an amazing knack for bumping into people, and often it's people I happen to think of shortly before I bump into them. God's blessing perhaps?
Heard a sad piece of news on the radio today. Something about the government going to step up measures to cull strays, specifically cats. (Cull means kill or put to sleep) I can't claim to be an animal rights activist or what, but hey, I like cats, and the stray ones are pretty cute. I mean, it's really for hygiene purposes meh? Or is it some paranoid people thinking that these cats are spreading SARs? Darn it, humans are more infectious than they are, for goodness' sake. I think it's bad enough that they are trying to sterilize the strays already. Now want to kill them? First they tear down my block to grow a grass patch, then now they go around killing cats? Maybe should sterilize the ministers. Wait they have too many offspring that control GLCs.
Heard a testimony from a girl who got baptized today in church. While everyone was hearing the good stuff she was saying, I dunno why, but I can only see something really bad. She said something like 'last time if I encountered something I really can't handle, I'll try to kill myself'. Now look here, this girl is like sec sch age only, and she was talking about pri sch days most probably. Now what kind of problems does a pri sch girl have that can possibly drive her to think of suicide? I mean, how many kids these days do play with the idea of suicide? I dunno about others who listened on avidly, but personally, that one statement of her sent alarm bells ringing all through my mind.
Whoa. Posting a lot here. Having been posting for a while. Indulge me lah.
Tuesday, May 06, 2003
Yay! Yesterday my exams are over, which technically means I've graduated from NUS! Sigh, but the last paper was almost as bad as the previous one. I think I'm being sufficiently objective: the papers I sat for mostly seem a lot harder or quite different from past year papers. I mean there are times I acknowledge that I had it easier, so I think I'm not being subjective...Argh. Maybe the lecturers hate my batch.
When I was coming home, I took some time to play with Cow Cat (my 'adopted' cat) downstairs. When I called for him, he gave me this pathetic sounding meows, and I think he missed me. He came to me and kept rubbing its head against my leg. Sigh. Think I really neglected it during exam time. Hardly went out so hardly saw it. This time I played with him until he happily left to look for food.
But got one weird old man...he was walking past me, and then he went "Ger, how are you? Good night. God bless you." Ger? Then there was an Indian old man with him and he appeared very embarrassed and smiled at me. Then the weird man said exactly the same thing to someone else in the playground. I guess he's a little mentally imbalanced. But I think that Indian man is quite well-meaning to take care of the guy.
When I was coming home, I took some time to play with Cow Cat (my 'adopted' cat) downstairs. When I called for him, he gave me this pathetic sounding meows, and I think he missed me. He came to me and kept rubbing its head against my leg. Sigh. Think I really neglected it during exam time. Hardly went out so hardly saw it. This time I played with him until he happily left to look for food.
But got one weird old man...he was walking past me, and then he went "Ger, how are you? Good night. God bless you." Ger? Then there was an Indian old man with him and he appeared very embarrassed and smiled at me. Then the weird man said exactly the same thing to someone else in the playground. I guess he's a little mentally imbalanced. But I think that Indian man is quite well-meaning to take care of the guy.
Saturday, May 03, 2003
Today I sat for my second last paper of this semester, and I am frustrated beyond belief. Studying for this module was already a pain in the arse: the notes spanned about 300 to 400 pages, and there were nearly a hundred equations. Looking at today's exam paper, I think the lecturer expected us to memorize everything by heart.
We asked him in class whether he can tell us which are the more important equations that we ought to know by heart. He replied, "You should know". Apparently what came out was what most deemed obscure, because he only added the equations in at the last lecture as some kind of touch-up. This was the kind of question you go in, see that it's worth 10 marks, and you don't even know what the equation looks like. No method marks can possibly be given, because you can't even start. I feel insulted by the paper. Utterly insulted. This was like Pri Sch to Sec Sch all over again.
I remember several lecturers saying that in Uni it's different. They test your application skills, not memory work. Others say that we are engineers. We aren't expected to memorize all the equations, but maybe need to learn how to derive some. Well this module's equations are standalone...can't derive. It's just thrown in your face in the notes. Considering how the current education system is pushing for creativity, I find it appalling that this paper was strictly a test of memory, failing which, you can't proceed at all. Whatever happened to creative application? Now I've sat for difficult exams. There are questions so tough that you can't do, and you come out possibly cursing and swearing (I hardly curse and swear by the way...not talking about me. ), but that's ok. That kind of questions is humbling. But this one, it's easy if you remember the equation. I really don't understand how come I can have this kind of paper at Uni level.
To add salt to injury, all his mathematical problems have an additional theory part, asking you to analyze the solution, in addition to the purely theory parts. It's additionally frustrating not to be able to finish the paper.
When I was leaving the place, I actually bumped into the lecturer. He was having this grin on his face (to me it says "haha I've killed one more batch of students") and when he saw me, I can tell he was dying to ask me how the paper was. Good thing I was on the phone, and he decided to move on, else I wouldn't know what I would have said to him. He was carrying the exam scripts on his shoulder, and (sorry, God... ) I really wanted to trip his leg and strangle the guy.
On a side note...have you noticed the recent bands like numbers? There was F4, then 5566, then now One Fifth (the female counterpart I suppose). I think they should have a boyband 7788 (I joked with my friend we should start one), which means average (in case you aren't Chinese), and maybe a girlband 3838.
Sorry for the long post. Need to let off some steam.
We asked him in class whether he can tell us which are the more important equations that we ought to know by heart. He replied, "You should know". Apparently what came out was what most deemed obscure, because he only added the equations in at the last lecture as some kind of touch-up. This was the kind of question you go in, see that it's worth 10 marks, and you don't even know what the equation looks like. No method marks can possibly be given, because you can't even start. I feel insulted by the paper. Utterly insulted. This was like Pri Sch to Sec Sch all over again.
I remember several lecturers saying that in Uni it's different. They test your application skills, not memory work. Others say that we are engineers. We aren't expected to memorize all the equations, but maybe need to learn how to derive some. Well this module's equations are standalone...can't derive. It's just thrown in your face in the notes. Considering how the current education system is pushing for creativity, I find it appalling that this paper was strictly a test of memory, failing which, you can't proceed at all. Whatever happened to creative application? Now I've sat for difficult exams. There are questions so tough that you can't do, and you come out possibly cursing and swearing (I hardly curse and swear by the way...not talking about me. ), but that's ok. That kind of questions is humbling. But this one, it's easy if you remember the equation. I really don't understand how come I can have this kind of paper at Uni level.
To add salt to injury, all his mathematical problems have an additional theory part, asking you to analyze the solution, in addition to the purely theory parts. It's additionally frustrating not to be able to finish the paper.
When I was leaving the place, I actually bumped into the lecturer. He was having this grin on his face (to me it says "haha I've killed one more batch of students") and when he saw me, I can tell he was dying to ask me how the paper was. Good thing I was on the phone, and he decided to move on, else I wouldn't know what I would have said to him. He was carrying the exam scripts on his shoulder, and (sorry, God... ) I really wanted to trip his leg and strangle the guy.
On a side note...have you noticed the recent bands like numbers? There was F4, then 5566, then now One Fifth (the female counterpart I suppose). I think they should have a boyband 7788 (I joked with my friend we should start one), which means average (in case you aren't Chinese), and maybe a girlband 3838.
Sorry for the long post. Need to let off some steam.