Wednesday, June 30, 2004
Day three, and still buried in marking. I marked about 400 scripts today, and it's utterly neck-breaking, back-bending and eye-glazing. Of all things, why did the government push for biochemistry and life sciences? My goodness, 32 classes taking chemistry. In my time, I think there was at most 6 classes.
But I'm close to completion. I'd better check through my marking if possible...sigh. Kept a tab on the marks of the classes under me, and found that in general they are fairly weak. Except for a few bright sparks who do really well. Looks like I have my work cut out for me.
My timetable isn't too good. Two days end at 3 pm, two end at 4.40 pm, and one ends at 1.20 pm. Saturday got IT Club. I will officially become a no-lifer soon. They should pay JC teachers more. Really. Argh! I mean, the lessons end at those times, but what about marking and preparation? That's super long working hours.
Yeah I'm just whining for relaxation purposes.
But I'm close to completion. I'd better check through my marking if possible...sigh. Kept a tab on the marks of the classes under me, and found that in general they are fairly weak. Except for a few bright sparks who do really well. Looks like I have my work cut out for me.
My timetable isn't too good. Two days end at 3 pm, two end at 4.40 pm, and one ends at 1.20 pm. Saturday got IT Club. I will officially become a no-lifer soon. They should pay JC teachers more. Really. Argh! I mean, the lessons end at those times, but what about marking and preparation? That's super long working hours.
Yeah I'm just whining for relaxation purposes.
Tuesday, June 29, 2004
Second day of school. Had a short briefing by the HOD of science. I find her witty, and that's a trait I appreciate. Sat in a chemistry department meeting, to select questions to go into organic chemistry tutorial book. My goodness, 3 hrs plus of meeting! I'm appalled to say that my memory of organic chemistry right now is at most a tenth of the syllabus. Good thing HOD says that first year is for us to settle the content and pedagogy...
Went down to Lagoon hawker centre at East Coast for lunch. Chemistry department mini-outing kinda. Squeezed 13 people into 2 cars. Impressive eh? Had delicious laksa. Apparently the teachers are seizing the opportunity of the common test to relax a bit, since no lessons in between.
Then came the marking! 700 scripts to mark, 1 structured question per script. It was quite unfortunate that I discovered a calculation error in the marking scheme, and traumatized the setter (a teacher who came in only 6 months earlier than me) for a long while, when we scurried to figure out how to amend the marking scheme. In the end, we ended up with a salt that really isn't a salt due to incorrect proportions of elements...I marked like mad, and finished 11 classes! About a third of the scripts! And got myself a stick neck, aching shoulders, and tired wrists. A massage seems heavenly at the moment.
Something funny...I was walking home and when I was walking alone down this walkway, the blocks on the left and right of me suddenly blacked out. There was no other person around, and it felt as though I had caused it, for some strange reason. Good thing it stopped at those blocks, else I won't be blogging this right now. Hehe...
Went down to Lagoon hawker centre at East Coast for lunch. Chemistry department mini-outing kinda. Squeezed 13 people into 2 cars. Impressive eh? Had delicious laksa. Apparently the teachers are seizing the opportunity of the common test to relax a bit, since no lessons in between.
Then came the marking! 700 scripts to mark, 1 structured question per script. It was quite unfortunate that I discovered a calculation error in the marking scheme, and traumatized the setter (a teacher who came in only 6 months earlier than me) for a long while, when we scurried to figure out how to amend the marking scheme. In the end, we ended up with a salt that really isn't a salt due to incorrect proportions of elements...I marked like mad, and finished 11 classes! About a third of the scripts! And got myself a stick neck, aching shoulders, and tired wrists. A massage seems heavenly at the moment.
Something funny...I was walking home and when I was walking alone down this walkway, the blocks on the left and right of me suddenly blacked out. There was no other person around, and it felt as though I had caused it, for some strange reason. Good thing it stopped at those blocks, else I won't be blogging this right now. Hehe...
Monday, June 28, 2004
First day of school! Students are having June common test, so teaching hasn't started yet. Induction starts today though, and I sat through five gruelling hours of heavy information overload. Administrative details largely, and a lot of information about the school, students, how the school is run, etc, etc. Important information, no doubt, but too much for us to remember in 5 hrs' time. The file of information they gave us was very useful though. The sad part was lunch was very late at around 2 plus, but the good news was we got to go back at that time.
Actually there's marking to be done, but as the procrastinator goes, there's always tomorrow!
The staff there is quite friendly in general. Nice environment. Still a bit clueless on my part, but I think should be alright to settle in. I have no table yet though. Wondering how I should decorate it...
Actually there's marking to be done, but as the procrastinator goes, there's always tomorrow!
The staff there is quite friendly in general. Nice environment. Still a bit clueless on my part, but I think should be alright to settle in. I have no table yet though. Wondering how I should decorate it...
Sunday, June 27, 2004
My cell had a weird 'visitor' today. In the middle of cell group, this lady in her 30s came in. I was having my cell group in the basement of my church, so we were all shocked that someone could have wandered in. She asked if she could talk to my cell leader or another member. We tried to get her to mention what she wants to ask so that we know what to do, but in the end she was just going around in circles repeating herself, and in a way, refusing to go off, despite our hints. For a good 20 minutes.
I could tell that my cell members were thinking if she has some mental disorder. For me, I see that she just wants attention, someone to talk to, and she seems desperately lonely, in a friendless sort of way. In the end we told her that if she really wanted to talk to us, she can wait outside for us to finish, and she finally left.
I only found out later that she hovers around my church area pretty often, and does very much the same thing to anyone she thinks will listen to her. Apparently, a friend unwittingly spent 3 hours talking to her, and couldn't leave politely, because the lady just kept talking. It wouldn't be half as bad if she didn't repeat everything.
I think she must have suffered some really heavy blow to end up like this. The mind is actually quite fragile.
Incidentally, today I was at my best pool form for more than a year. I had not been this accurate since I have had little opportunity to play regularly. My rebound shots were about 75% accurate, placing was unusually as intended, and I lost only about 6 games out of 24, playing among competent players. The funny thing is that just yesterday I played, and I think I was mediocre.
I am very contented. If only I didn't have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow. Argh.
I could tell that my cell members were thinking if she has some mental disorder. For me, I see that she just wants attention, someone to talk to, and she seems desperately lonely, in a friendless sort of way. In the end we told her that if she really wanted to talk to us, she can wait outside for us to finish, and she finally left.
I only found out later that she hovers around my church area pretty often, and does very much the same thing to anyone she thinks will listen to her. Apparently, a friend unwittingly spent 3 hours talking to her, and couldn't leave politely, because the lady just kept talking. It wouldn't be half as bad if she didn't repeat everything.
I think she must have suffered some really heavy blow to end up like this. The mind is actually quite fragile.
Incidentally, today I was at my best pool form for more than a year. I had not been this accurate since I have had little opportunity to play regularly. My rebound shots were about 75% accurate, placing was unusually as intended, and I lost only about 6 games out of 24, playing among competent players. The funny thing is that just yesterday I played, and I think I was mediocre.
I am very contented. If only I didn't have to wake up at 6 am tomorrow. Argh.
Saturday, June 26, 2004
Today is a bump-into-people-I-know day. Since I went out in the early afternoon, I bumped into six different people (actually eight...two occurences were bumping into a couple) throughout the day.
Bumped into a uni friend, a mechanical engineer by training doing finance, then bumped into two NIE friends (separate occasion, same locale), bumped into a church friend on the bus, then bumped into my best friend and his girlfriend at Marina Square. Small world, small Singapore.
The last coincidence was the best. I had fixed a small cuzzie (cousin, for the uninitiated) outing with two cousins of mine to have dinner together. When I was making my way down to Marina Square, I was still lamenting in my mind that it was too bad that another cousin (and his wife) didn't join us. And there at Marina Square, my cousins and I bumped into that cousin and his wife. Who also happened to be looking for somewhere to eat, so we had a complete cuzzie outing in the end. I think God really loves me to orchestrate this for me. Haha...I don't care if some of you don't think so, but hey, I've long given up on coincidences being coincidences.
Bumped into a uni friend, a mechanical engineer by training doing finance, then bumped into two NIE friends (separate occasion, same locale), bumped into a church friend on the bus, then bumped into my best friend and his girlfriend at Marina Square. Small world, small Singapore.
The last coincidence was the best. I had fixed a small cuzzie (cousin, for the uninitiated) outing with two cousins of mine to have dinner together. When I was making my way down to Marina Square, I was still lamenting in my mind that it was too bad that another cousin (and his wife) didn't join us. And there at Marina Square, my cousins and I bumped into that cousin and his wife. Who also happened to be looking for somewhere to eat, so we had a complete cuzzie outing in the end. I think God really loves me to orchestrate this for me. Haha...I don't care if some of you don't think so, but hey, I've long given up on coincidences being coincidences.
Wednesday, June 23, 2004
I had a wonderful weekend at the Children's Encounter. God spoke to me and gave me some bible verses, and actually sent people indirectly to affirm what I heard. Hmm...me man of little faith and confidence. One of my boys actually didn't want to stay for the night nor come back the next day. When I sent him off at night, God prompted me to be direct about what I think and what God spoke to me about him, and I did. At first I wasn't sure if he'll come back the next day, but he did. With a smile on his face. And I think what I told him got through to him. Thank God...lots of encouraging things about the camp...it's really a heartwarming sight when you see kids engage in worship.
I spent Monday resting at home comfortably. One thing about children's camp: they have almost boundless energy. It's really difficult getting them to sleep. At one a.m. in the morning I was watching Night of the Living Dead live...haha, it's actually the kids lumbering around the room muttering, "I'm hungry." 3 am in the morning one kid woke up wailing in fear and I had to calm him down. My pastor remarked that it will be like this once I get married and have kids. How true...so there I was, zonked out on Sunday night and Monday. Slept like a log.
Tuesday met up with my cell leader. Was going to buy two shirts I was eyeing from G2000 and I got my cell leader to come because his credit card has 15% discount. Guess what? They changed the stock on Sunday. Argh! I missed it by 2 days! i don't believe it. The clothes I wanted were new arrivals of the previous season...surely it should end up on the discount basket for this season. Cardinal rule of shopping number 2: If you plan to get what you want on another day, forget it. Buy it NOW!!!
Today watched Around the World in 80 Days. If I wasn't a Jackie Chan supporter, I would have been quite disgusted. The movie is true to his style, but otherwise is a huge detour from the book by the same name. But it was quite entertaining. With many, and I mean many, cameos. The stupid thing is that I sat there waiting past all the credits hoping to see Jackie Chan's famously funny NG scenes, and reached a futile end. What is a Jackie Chan movie without his NG scenes??
I spent Monday resting at home comfortably. One thing about children's camp: they have almost boundless energy. It's really difficult getting them to sleep. At one a.m. in the morning I was watching Night of the Living Dead live...haha, it's actually the kids lumbering around the room muttering, "I'm hungry." 3 am in the morning one kid woke up wailing in fear and I had to calm him down. My pastor remarked that it will be like this once I get married and have kids. How true...so there I was, zonked out on Sunday night and Monday. Slept like a log.
Tuesday met up with my cell leader. Was going to buy two shirts I was eyeing from G2000 and I got my cell leader to come because his credit card has 15% discount. Guess what? They changed the stock on Sunday. Argh! I missed it by 2 days! i don't believe it. The clothes I wanted were new arrivals of the previous season...surely it should end up on the discount basket for this season. Cardinal rule of shopping number 2: If you plan to get what you want on another day, forget it. Buy it NOW!!!
Today watched Around the World in 80 Days. If I wasn't a Jackie Chan supporter, I would have been quite disgusted. The movie is true to his style, but otherwise is a huge detour from the book by the same name. But it was quite entertaining. With many, and I mean many, cameos. The stupid thing is that I sat there waiting past all the credits hoping to see Jackie Chan's famously funny NG scenes, and reached a futile end. What is a Jackie Chan movie without his NG scenes??
Friday, June 18, 2004
The misty sky hides the moon
Too soon
The night grows cold
And I feel myself grow old
By the minute.
I have finally seen it-
The face of darkness laughing...
Laughing.
Too soon
The night grows cold
And I feel myself grow old
By the minute.
I have finally seen it-
The face of darkness laughing...
Laughing.
Thursday, June 17, 2004
I had a surprise in the afternoon. A colleague from India who worked with me when I was on industrial attachment messaged me over msn. I haven't heard from him for over a year already actually. Interestingly, he was back in Singapore for another project, for about 2 years, and he just wanted to meet me up for dinner. The surprise was of course pleasant.
My main view on friendship is that it is highly transient. Other than the very few who stick with you thick and thin, the rest are fleeting. I've always believed that I am in another person's life for some specific purpose, or role, and when that is done, I should make a graceful exit. Similarly, I hold the same view of the friends and acquaintances I have. I was there for some friends at the low points of their lives, and in the span of about one year, they have vanished. Yet I do not lament the loss, although some days I would wonder how they are doing.
I look back all through the years, the same cycle of events have been happening. In the army, I had friends who suffered with me. Out of that group, I retain close contact with only one. Further back, in JC, I had several good friends in my department committee. I don't keep in contact with them anymore. Neither do they bother. Only out of secondary school, I have retained the most friends.
Why am I thinking of all these? I bought nice big albums to transfer all my forgotten photographs to, and suddenly I realized the existence of many people I have forgotten. Some of whom I used to be on very good terms with.
And I stand on the threshold of losing one more. Maybe my purpose is complete, or has been rendered obsolete. Perhaps I should prepare for a graceful exit.
My main view on friendship is that it is highly transient. Other than the very few who stick with you thick and thin, the rest are fleeting. I've always believed that I am in another person's life for some specific purpose, or role, and when that is done, I should make a graceful exit. Similarly, I hold the same view of the friends and acquaintances I have. I was there for some friends at the low points of their lives, and in the span of about one year, they have vanished. Yet I do not lament the loss, although some days I would wonder how they are doing.
I look back all through the years, the same cycle of events have been happening. In the army, I had friends who suffered with me. Out of that group, I retain close contact with only one. Further back, in JC, I had several good friends in my department committee. I don't keep in contact with them anymore. Neither do they bother. Only out of secondary school, I have retained the most friends.
Why am I thinking of all these? I bought nice big albums to transfer all my forgotten photographs to, and suddenly I realized the existence of many people I have forgotten. Some of whom I used to be on very good terms with.
And I stand on the threshold of losing one more. Maybe my purpose is complete, or has been rendered obsolete. Perhaps I should prepare for a graceful exit.
Tuesday, June 15, 2004
I appreciate the concern of Steph and Shups over the quarrel I had. After much consideration and encouragement from them, I decided I would attempt a reconciliatory move by inviting the friend out for coffee, and make it up to her, but guess that didn't work out the way I thought it would.
That bites, especially since I do not view that I'm the only one at fault. I am trying not to become angry so I think I'll just walk away and shrug it off. She has enough counsel as it is from various trustworthy friends.
On a lighter note, I am amazed at the rate of evolution of policies the recent weeks. I just heard the announcement that National Service will be reduced to 2 years and 2 months for everyone. The education front is even more 'unstable'. The recent barrage of initiatives have been intense. Today there is an announcement about pushing for Chinese subject. There are many more still, and I think I've lost track of them all. I only wonder that as a teacher will I be able to keep up with how education is morphing?
The quarrel still bugs me. The thing is, why do I even bother? The love for a friend cannot be so permanently enduring. Why do I even think that through counsel I can protect someone from harm? A child when given boundaries will usually become consumed with attempting to cross them. Why should we adults be any different? My girlfriend was right all along. I really do try to take upon myself too many burdens that are not mine to carry. It's not my friend but me who drive myself up the wall.
Walk away, Kian Seh. Walk away.
That bites, especially since I do not view that I'm the only one at fault. I am trying not to become angry so I think I'll just walk away and shrug it off. She has enough counsel as it is from various trustworthy friends.
On a lighter note, I am amazed at the rate of evolution of policies the recent weeks. I just heard the announcement that National Service will be reduced to 2 years and 2 months for everyone. The education front is even more 'unstable'. The recent barrage of initiatives have been intense. Today there is an announcement about pushing for Chinese subject. There are many more still, and I think I've lost track of them all. I only wonder that as a teacher will I be able to keep up with how education is morphing?
The quarrel still bugs me. The thing is, why do I even bother? The love for a friend cannot be so permanently enduring. Why do I even think that through counsel I can protect someone from harm? A child when given boundaries will usually become consumed with attempting to cross them. Why should we adults be any different? My girlfriend was right all along. I really do try to take upon myself too many burdens that are not mine to carry. It's not my friend but me who drive myself up the wall.
Walk away, Kian Seh. Walk away.
Monday, June 14, 2004
I just quarrelled with a good friend of mine. The last thing she said still stings a lot.
"I'll remember that. that when I do make the wrong choice in future, I'll know not to come crying to you."
I only wanted her to know that she is not living alone in the world. That there are friends who are concerned, who are praying, and agonize with her if something bad should happen, and her decisions are not confined to a solitary bubble with only her inside. What a misinterpretation of my words.
I think the main source of conflict in communication in people is not when people don't see eye to eye. It's more than that. It's when two people passionately and doggedly believe that what they hold as a belief is undoubtedly true, and why the other person doesn't see it his or her way. As much as she is frustrated with the way I handled things, I am equally frustrated with the fact that she is running away from certain things that she knows to be true.
She may not be my cell member, but now I caught a glimpse of what perhaps my cell leader has been experiencing often. That trying to remind someone of the truth as written in the bible is an unrewarding and painful job. The truth is always harsh. I know how resistant I was to be pointed out my own mistakes too, and I think it's a purely human instinct. But the resistance should vary according to how close the person who's pointing things out is to me. Or am I that sorely mistaken?
How does one sugar-coat a bitter pill, when the pill's bitterness will definitely outshadow whatever sugar is on it? It's so tempting to give up and don't care, yet so amazingly difficult...
"I'll remember that. that when I do make the wrong choice in future, I'll know not to come crying to you."
I only wanted her to know that she is not living alone in the world. That there are friends who are concerned, who are praying, and agonize with her if something bad should happen, and her decisions are not confined to a solitary bubble with only her inside. What a misinterpretation of my words.
I think the main source of conflict in communication in people is not when people don't see eye to eye. It's more than that. It's when two people passionately and doggedly believe that what they hold as a belief is undoubtedly true, and why the other person doesn't see it his or her way. As much as she is frustrated with the way I handled things, I am equally frustrated with the fact that she is running away from certain things that she knows to be true.
She may not be my cell member, but now I caught a glimpse of what perhaps my cell leader has been experiencing often. That trying to remind someone of the truth as written in the bible is an unrewarding and painful job. The truth is always harsh. I know how resistant I was to be pointed out my own mistakes too, and I think it's a purely human instinct. But the resistance should vary according to how close the person who's pointing things out is to me. Or am I that sorely mistaken?
How does one sugar-coat a bitter pill, when the pill's bitterness will definitely outshadow whatever sugar is on it? It's so tempting to give up and don't care, yet so amazingly difficult...
Sunday, June 13, 2004
I forgot my cell group changed to Saturday! Ooops. Was happily at home sorting out my old photos. Didn't even realize until my cell leader messaged me. Pastor Julie preached first time on the pulpit! I think she is the first woman to preach a sermon in FCBC. And I think that her training as a lawyer has at least given her the ability to speak really well.
Sunday morning. I was preparing to go to teach Sunday school, and my army friend messaged me, "I've been recalled!" Man, that sucks. I have a long day planned out already, and now I've to report to camp? Argh. Doesn't help that they put me as working key personnel, which means I have to report to Kranji camp at Choa Chu Kang in 2 hours. No matter how I look at it, I think the army expects me to take cab everytime. Either that or they thought I will get a car someday. Good thing it was over faster than I imagine, despite there being cock-ups in the usual army style.
Fortunately I still got to play about 2 hrs of pool. Else this Sunday would truly be down in the pits. Went for my cell leader's BBQ at his place. In a nice way, I got to know the new cell members pretty well. I think they are a whole lot whackier than the guys we used to have. Hehe.
Sunday morning. I was preparing to go to teach Sunday school, and my army friend messaged me, "I've been recalled!" Man, that sucks. I have a long day planned out already, and now I've to report to camp? Argh. Doesn't help that they put me as working key personnel, which means I have to report to Kranji camp at Choa Chu Kang in 2 hours. No matter how I look at it, I think the army expects me to take cab everytime. Either that or they thought I will get a car someday. Good thing it was over faster than I imagine, despite there being cock-ups in the usual army style.
Fortunately I still got to play about 2 hrs of pool. Else this Sunday would truly be down in the pits. Went for my cell leader's BBQ at his place. In a nice way, I got to know the new cell members pretty well. I think they are a whole lot whackier than the guys we used to have. Hehe.
Saturday, June 12, 2004
Today woke up early just to make my way down to Sengkang for brunch. A married couple friend Edwin and Christine (husband's the cousin of The Significant Other) invited me down to presumably keep me gainfully occupied while The Significant Other is slogging in Greece. I'm always very alert going to Sengkang or Punggol, because to me, those two places I will easily get lost; the buildings all look nearly the same to me.
It's so far out of the way. I think the government swindled people to go live there. With the NEL I guess the residents are better connected, but it's still a long way off from being more a self-sufficient estate.
They played host very well. Christine cooked pasta for lunch. I hope I did not accidentally insult her by picking out the garlic, onion and chilli. Yep. I don't eat 3 out of the 4 ingredients of the pasta. They expressed concern over my progress with The Significant Other, which I thought was very sweet of them. Edwin said something interesting, "I'm not concerned because you are my cousin's boyfriend, but because you are Kian Seh." What he meant was that he regards me as a personal friend, and not an appendage of his cousin.
I spent the whole late morning to early evening with them, and it felt pretty good to catch up with the two of them. Especially since Edwin is a JC teacher as well, and (you can quote me on this) when two or more teachers are gathered together, gossip and complaints fire off like machine gun ammunition.
It's so far out of the way. I think the government swindled people to go live there. With the NEL I guess the residents are better connected, but it's still a long way off from being more a self-sufficient estate.
They played host very well. Christine cooked pasta for lunch. I hope I did not accidentally insult her by picking out the garlic, onion and chilli. Yep. I don't eat 3 out of the 4 ingredients of the pasta. They expressed concern over my progress with The Significant Other, which I thought was very sweet of them. Edwin said something interesting, "I'm not concerned because you are my cousin's boyfriend, but because you are Kian Seh." What he meant was that he regards me as a personal friend, and not an appendage of his cousin.
I spent the whole late morning to early evening with them, and it felt pretty good to catch up with the two of them. Especially since Edwin is a JC teacher as well, and (you can quote me on this) when two or more teachers are gathered together, gossip and complaints fire off like machine gun ammunition.
Thursday, June 10, 2004
Just caught Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban yesterday with Huijun (my distant cousin and NIE classmate...small world). No matter how I look at it, I see no way it can be considered children's entertainment. Since the second installment, it has been looking extremely dark. Especially with the dementors floating around. Will someone please convince me that they don't look like the ring-wraiths from Lord of the Rings, because they sure look alike to me. Otherwise, an entertaining film. I'm waiting for Spiderman 2 with bated breath though...
I've been playing a lot of pool recently, and I'm only beginning to regain my standard. Today, I finally met my good friend Shups for 4 hours of pool. It was great! I think we were quite evenly matched in terms of form today, but there wasn't a really spectacular game or superb trick-shots as we used to. Is it a result of improving placing skills? But it sure felt good to play pool with her again. Very nostalgic. There I go again, lamenting in my head why my network moved to Bukit Merah. I could be here in the pool parlour of Marine Parade every Saturday. Sigh...
I've been playing a lot of pool recently, and I'm only beginning to regain my standard. Today, I finally met my good friend Shups for 4 hours of pool. It was great! I think we were quite evenly matched in terms of form today, but there wasn't a really spectacular game or superb trick-shots as we used to. Is it a result of improving placing skills? But it sure felt good to play pool with her again. Very nostalgic. There I go again, lamenting in my head why my network moved to Bukit Merah. I could be here in the pool parlour of Marine Parade every Saturday. Sigh...
Tuesday, June 08, 2004
Went down to TJC today (I'll be teaching there soon!). I was supposed to pick up some notes from the Zap shop, but apparently my level head has picked up for me. So I went down to the staff room to find him. I discovered that he's a Christian along the way, and he kinda roped me into IT club already. Anyway I'm supposed to be involved in two CCAs as a teacher, so why not pick something I'm interested in to start with? So much for keeping low profile...
Bumped into one of my NIE tutors in the school too. Small, small world. Apparently her PHD research topic is concerning the through-train programme which TJ will implement next year. So I guess I'll be seeing her around a lot next year. She has not changed much...still talking about the use of IT to supplement teaching. Hopefully I can put it into practice. It would be interesting that way.
Met Isabel, another good friend of mine, for lunch. Escorted her to Orchard after that, and had a drink at Coffee Club. I think this week will be 'catch-up-with-old-friends-week'. Of all my friends, I worry about her the most. Stubborn chilli padi...
Met another old friend for a game of Magic the Gathering. It's been so long since we sparred. I suppose this will remain a hobby of mine for a long time to come. Sigh. Why does everyone ask me if I'm going abroad for holiday? Money no enough...
Bumped into one of my NIE tutors in the school too. Small, small world. Apparently her PHD research topic is concerning the through-train programme which TJ will implement next year. So I guess I'll be seeing her around a lot next year. She has not changed much...still talking about the use of IT to supplement teaching. Hopefully I can put it into practice. It would be interesting that way.
Met Isabel, another good friend of mine, for lunch. Escorted her to Orchard after that, and had a drink at Coffee Club. I think this week will be 'catch-up-with-old-friends-week'. Of all my friends, I worry about her the most. Stubborn chilli padi...
Met another old friend for a game of Magic the Gathering. It's been so long since we sparred. I suppose this will remain a hobby of mine for a long time to come. Sigh. Why does everyone ask me if I'm going abroad for holiday? Money no enough...
Monday, June 07, 2004
Today was a day with no plans. I had anticipated it to be a lazy Monday, but it turned out somewhat differently. My second aunt and uncle came by to visit, and they, with my mum and I, had a nice long chat. Yes, we. I am also involved in the conversations of 60 to 70 plus year olds. I can really talk to anybody...and they can be quite humourous too surprisingly. Not every old person is a stuck-up old fogey.
Then Shups, a good friend of mine, called. Haven't heard from her in a while, but I guess we were both busy, and now that she is attending the Marine Parade side of my church, I don't see her around so often. We were planning to have a pool session, and from the arrangements we went on to have a nice long 3 hour plus chat. It felt great, especially because we haven't talked like this ever since we started working. Argh. The curse of the working life.
Had dinner with my cell leader Adrian also, and yet another nice long chat. He just came back from a 3 week trip to China, and we have a lot to catch up on. There's a study that estimates that a man utters 5000 to 7000 words a day (while a woman utters 7000 to 9000...men at our best speak less than a woman of fewer words!), so I guess today I blew my quota.
Then Shups, a good friend of mine, called. Haven't heard from her in a while, but I guess we were both busy, and now that she is attending the Marine Parade side of my church, I don't see her around so often. We were planning to have a pool session, and from the arrangements we went on to have a nice long 3 hour plus chat. It felt great, especially because we haven't talked like this ever since we started working. Argh. The curse of the working life.
Had dinner with my cell leader Adrian also, and yet another nice long chat. He just came back from a 3 week trip to China, and we have a lot to catch up on. There's a study that estimates that a man utters 5000 to 7000 words a day (while a woman utters 7000 to 9000...men at our best speak less than a woman of fewer words!), so I guess today I blew my quota.
Sunday, June 06, 2004
I finally bumped into the old lady who feeds the cats just now. Yay! Cow cat is still alive! He's right now at her place, because she found the poor cat down with flu, and brought him to see the vet. So now he's happily recovering in her house. I'm very much relieved.
I stayed on to chat a bit, and the old lady told me a lot of stuff, kinda like her life story, and it was quite interesting. Apparently she blows most of her wages on the cats. She feeds the cats in an area covering eight blocks, and she has about 20 kittens in her house right now. I think it's quite beastly expensive to buy that much cat food, and I am impressed by her devotion to the cats. She said something that caught my attention though, "All this food give the cats better. They are more deserving of kindness than human beings."
Turns out that her good friend cheated her of 7k and vanished. And she earned that 7k from scratch, doing laundry for various households. I can imagine the kind of bitterness that must have resulted. She's a Thai by birth, but now a PR from marrying a Singaporean. She related to me how tough her life was back then, and even now, how hard it is. She was commenting on how people were remarking that she's foolish to do these for cats, but I find her noble in a way. This is really a case of unconditional love. There is absolutely nothing that the cats can give her in return. And it costs her dearly. But she still goes ahead with her sacrifice. The virtue is almost Godly, except that it's directed at cats.
And the main thing she said that stuck in my mind was, "Someday when I die, I hope that all my cats will surround me, and I can go in peace."
Once again, I am pushed into a state of reflection. I wonder why I complain about suffering, and how tough life is, and etc, when I have a well-paying job, a nice home, and sufficient money to afford the things I want to buy. Every now and then, I think I need to be reminded of the state of living some folks are in, to throw my own life into perspective. Yes, somebody else out there is having a more cosy life than me. More gadgets. More cash. And I think it's precisely the knowledge of the existence of all these people that drives me to materialistic thinking sometimes. My guess is that it's the same for others too. It's so base yet human to compare, but our shallow minds always compare with those who are better off, and we end up in discontent. I was still lamenting yesterday about not being able to own a Playstation 2.
I thank God for what I already have. A wonderful mother. A wonderful girlfriend. Wonderful friends. A job that I believe in and pays well enough to meet my needs. A church that has helped me to grow as a person. Indeed, what more can I ask for?
I stayed on to chat a bit, and the old lady told me a lot of stuff, kinda like her life story, and it was quite interesting. Apparently she blows most of her wages on the cats. She feeds the cats in an area covering eight blocks, and she has about 20 kittens in her house right now. I think it's quite beastly expensive to buy that much cat food, and I am impressed by her devotion to the cats. She said something that caught my attention though, "All this food give the cats better. They are more deserving of kindness than human beings."
Turns out that her good friend cheated her of 7k and vanished. And she earned that 7k from scratch, doing laundry for various households. I can imagine the kind of bitterness that must have resulted. She's a Thai by birth, but now a PR from marrying a Singaporean. She related to me how tough her life was back then, and even now, how hard it is. She was commenting on how people were remarking that she's foolish to do these for cats, but I find her noble in a way. This is really a case of unconditional love. There is absolutely nothing that the cats can give her in return. And it costs her dearly. But she still goes ahead with her sacrifice. The virtue is almost Godly, except that it's directed at cats.
And the main thing she said that stuck in my mind was, "Someday when I die, I hope that all my cats will surround me, and I can go in peace."
Once again, I am pushed into a state of reflection. I wonder why I complain about suffering, and how tough life is, and etc, when I have a well-paying job, a nice home, and sufficient money to afford the things I want to buy. Every now and then, I think I need to be reminded of the state of living some folks are in, to throw my own life into perspective. Yes, somebody else out there is having a more cosy life than me. More gadgets. More cash. And I think it's precisely the knowledge of the existence of all these people that drives me to materialistic thinking sometimes. My guess is that it's the same for others too. It's so base yet human to compare, but our shallow minds always compare with those who are better off, and we end up in discontent. I was still lamenting yesterday about not being able to own a Playstation 2.
I thank God for what I already have. A wonderful mother. A wonderful girlfriend. Wonderful friends. A job that I believe in and pays well enough to meet my needs. A church that has helped me to grow as a person. Indeed, what more can I ask for?
Saturday, June 05, 2004
Today was a little bit weird for me. I attended the wedding of my Significant Other's cousin, but she herself was absent because of a job assignment. The experience itself wasn't weird for the fact that I was around while she wasn't, but rather that now that this cousin has gotten married, it appears that among her relatives, she should be the next in line. So there I was, one moment innocently eating my food, and the other, being asked when I am getting married to my Significant Other. By several of her relatives.
I am not commitment-phobic, mind you. It's not the question about marriage itself that makes the whole thing weird. It's rather that the answer would probably be too sketchy for them to comprehend or accept. My church has a slightly more stringent process for marriage preparation, which I feel is excellent. In fact, after going through the sessions, I (bad of me) am having sincere doubts about some of my friends and acquaintances who are preparing to walk down the aisle soon, wondering if they truly know what they are getting into. So the best answer I can afford is "hopefully some time next year." I can tell from their expressions that they are thinking 'you mean you haven't planned it out by now yet?', but at least they were nice enough not to voice it out. But I decided I don't need to stress myself out to think of a nice answer to satisfy their curiosity. Vanilla coke might be a better alternative.
I miss cow cat very much. He has been missing for over a week now, and considering that I've seen him around for over 5 years, I fear that he might have died. He was such an adorable cat, at least to me. When I stroke him, I sometimes just keep on scratching, and he would move his whole head and body to position the place he wants me to scratch under my fingers. Everytime I make a cat call, he would respond and come limping out of the bush, and stretch himself a little, and come to me. I have never expected a stray cat to be as obedient and responsive as a pet. And all I can think of is how I've walked home the last few weeks, saw him under the bush and thought of how tired I am, and thought I could always play with him tomorrow. The cost of procrastination can be so, so dear. Especially with lives. Even if it's just a cat. What more, a human being? What more, loved ones?
I am not commitment-phobic, mind you. It's not the question about marriage itself that makes the whole thing weird. It's rather that the answer would probably be too sketchy for them to comprehend or accept. My church has a slightly more stringent process for marriage preparation, which I feel is excellent. In fact, after going through the sessions, I (bad of me) am having sincere doubts about some of my friends and acquaintances who are preparing to walk down the aisle soon, wondering if they truly know what they are getting into. So the best answer I can afford is "hopefully some time next year." I can tell from their expressions that they are thinking 'you mean you haven't planned it out by now yet?', but at least they were nice enough not to voice it out. But I decided I don't need to stress myself out to think of a nice answer to satisfy their curiosity. Vanilla coke might be a better alternative.
I miss cow cat very much. He has been missing for over a week now, and considering that I've seen him around for over 5 years, I fear that he might have died. He was such an adorable cat, at least to me. When I stroke him, I sometimes just keep on scratching, and he would move his whole head and body to position the place he wants me to scratch under my fingers. Everytime I make a cat call, he would respond and come limping out of the bush, and stretch himself a little, and come to me. I have never expected a stray cat to be as obedient and responsive as a pet. And all I can think of is how I've walked home the last few weeks, saw him under the bush and thought of how tired I am, and thought I could always play with him tomorrow. The cost of procrastination can be so, so dear. Especially with lives. Even if it's just a cat. What more, a human being? What more, loved ones?
Friday, June 04, 2004
I am truly an infrequent blogger. In the last few posts I commented about starting my practicum and here I am, finally updating my blog only after the whole thing is over.
In a way, writing in retrospect is a lot better, or at least more cheery. I kept another blog while I was in my practicum school, more for accountability purposes with my NIE supervisor. In that one, it was updated more or less daily, and I see in it frustrations, irritations, etc, which I do not feel now. All I feel right now is that I kind of miss a couple of classes I taught. They aren't spectacular in their studies or well-behaved. In fact, they were the ones who performed the most badly for their exams. Yet, it was undoubtedly more fun teaching a class that is not sitting there looking back at you with glazed eyes and wearing zombified looks on the faces (my Express classes).
My Normal stream class was the one I was closest to, and they were the ones who really wanted me to stay, suggesting things like signing petitions to MOE to ask for me, and other stuff like that. The most touching thing was that they got for me a nice cake on my last day, with a card in which quite a few of them wrote encouraging things to me. This class so far has made me feel that teaching really does have intangible rewards. I saw a change in their attitude after teaching them, and though their results do not improve by as much as I had hoped for, what they show in spirit more than makes up for it. I hope that things would be as encouraging when I begin the next phase of my life in my alma mater...
In a way, writing in retrospect is a lot better, or at least more cheery. I kept another blog while I was in my practicum school, more for accountability purposes with my NIE supervisor. In that one, it was updated more or less daily, and I see in it frustrations, irritations, etc, which I do not feel now. All I feel right now is that I kind of miss a couple of classes I taught. They aren't spectacular in their studies or well-behaved. In fact, they were the ones who performed the most badly for their exams. Yet, it was undoubtedly more fun teaching a class that is not sitting there looking back at you with glazed eyes and wearing zombified looks on the faces (my Express classes).
My Normal stream class was the one I was closest to, and they were the ones who really wanted me to stay, suggesting things like signing petitions to MOE to ask for me, and other stuff like that. The most touching thing was that they got for me a nice cake on my last day, with a card in which quite a few of them wrote encouraging things to me. This class so far has made me feel that teaching really does have intangible rewards. I saw a change in their attitude after teaching them, and though their results do not improve by as much as I had hoped for, what they show in spirit more than makes up for it. I hope that things would be as encouraging when I begin the next phase of my life in my alma mater...