Sunday, February 29, 2004
I've only just finished my preparations for tomorrow. Tomorrow, I venture into new territory: Queenstown Secondary School for my practicum training as a teacher. Already I am assigned to teach 3 classes where I should be observing, simply because my Science HOD took leave and asked me to cover for him. Talk about being thrown into the deep end of the pool. In any case, after a long while of griping about it, I finally came to terms with it. Since I will be doing it a week later, why not start a little earlier? I know God will lead me through...but darn. Can't help feeling nervous about it.
Now the main thought running through my mind is: will I be seeing a class of little monsters or angels tomorrow? I sure hope and pray that it's the latter. But considering the HOD said, "You must be strict and fierce with them. Don't even smile" I quite highly doubt it will be the latter. I wonder if I can manage a stern face through the 5 periods I have to teach tomorrow. Have I ever looked stern before? Maybe I'll just aim not to smile. Hopefully I'll look stern by default.
Now the main thought running through my mind is: will I be seeing a class of little monsters or angels tomorrow? I sure hope and pray that it's the latter. But considering the HOD said, "You must be strict and fierce with them. Don't even smile" I quite highly doubt it will be the latter. I wonder if I can manage a stern face through the 5 periods I have to teach tomorrow. Have I ever looked stern before? Maybe I'll just aim not to smile. Hopefully I'll look stern by default.
Thursday, February 26, 2004
I've been watching this TCS8 drama serial "I love my home", and I think I like it. True, I feel that the recent serials that came out of Mediacorp (other than the criminal investigation thingie that looks like a ripoff of multiple Hollywood movies) are using the same formula of simple and more 'realistic' plots, and I've grown sick of it since the Holland Village overdose. And another thing I've grown cynical about is the hidden governmental agenda in the plot, and all the national messages snuck into them. But this show, while retaining the same elements, strikes out in character.
The show is funded by a kidney dialysis centre and the government, and it showcases an old lady with kidney problems and her children. While the show promotes certain messages and values that the government emphasizes, it portrays kinship in a stark and real form. For the first time, I see a setting where the main character is not well-to-do, and is struggling to make ends meet (much like Taiwanese soap-y opera). I think the show did an excellent job in portraying an underprivileged family in Singapore. Not among the poorest, but financially strapped, considering two children and an aged mother with dialysis bills. The thing I like most about it, however, is the role played by Xie Shao Guang, because he plays the guy who lives in the rich house, yuppie, and seemingly unfilial. It is shockingly obvious that he has the most resources to take care of the mother, but no, he dumps her to the eldest brother who is struggling financially. And guess what, I think it's a fair representation of some Singaporeans out there. Not that I think many are that unfilial, but that the perspective of money is very warped.
When the aged mother went to ask for monetary help, the daughter-in-law said something I think is representative of our affluent culture these days, "Mum, it's not that I don't want to help, but we are struggling too. Look at our condo. We have to repay a thousand a month for it. And the car takes up eight hundred. And the maid? By the time we pay all these things, we hardly have anything left." And the next scene, she goes on a shopping spree, splurges on slimming programmes and pills (for even the young son) and plans on upgrading to a 1.5 million condominium unit. How apt a representation of blind material pursuits! This is a spirit of poverty. One never has enough. I often think I am in dire straits, but I'm really not that poor, as the Significant Other always emphasized.
And I see people I know getting condos, fancy cars, etc, and when asked about a trivial sum, they say no money. Not that it isn't true, because it really is true. They do have no money because they blew it all on expensive stuff. But it's a matter of choice isn't it? If you choose to blow the dough, don't lament as if you are poor, because you could have the extra money if you save on extravagance. Instead, they end up investing money in stocks, businesses, give tuition everyday of the week, and etc. Bound by money or the perpetual lack of it. What kind of happiness and fullness of life do they pursue I wonder...?
The show is funded by a kidney dialysis centre and the government, and it showcases an old lady with kidney problems and her children. While the show promotes certain messages and values that the government emphasizes, it portrays kinship in a stark and real form. For the first time, I see a setting where the main character is not well-to-do, and is struggling to make ends meet (much like Taiwanese soap-y opera). I think the show did an excellent job in portraying an underprivileged family in Singapore. Not among the poorest, but financially strapped, considering two children and an aged mother with dialysis bills. The thing I like most about it, however, is the role played by Xie Shao Guang, because he plays the guy who lives in the rich house, yuppie, and seemingly unfilial. It is shockingly obvious that he has the most resources to take care of the mother, but no, he dumps her to the eldest brother who is struggling financially. And guess what, I think it's a fair representation of some Singaporeans out there. Not that I think many are that unfilial, but that the perspective of money is very warped.
When the aged mother went to ask for monetary help, the daughter-in-law said something I think is representative of our affluent culture these days, "Mum, it's not that I don't want to help, but we are struggling too. Look at our condo. We have to repay a thousand a month for it. And the car takes up eight hundred. And the maid? By the time we pay all these things, we hardly have anything left." And the next scene, she goes on a shopping spree, splurges on slimming programmes and pills (for even the young son) and plans on upgrading to a 1.5 million condominium unit. How apt a representation of blind material pursuits! This is a spirit of poverty. One never has enough. I often think I am in dire straits, but I'm really not that poor, as the Significant Other always emphasized.
And I see people I know getting condos, fancy cars, etc, and when asked about a trivial sum, they say no money. Not that it isn't true, because it really is true. They do have no money because they blew it all on expensive stuff. But it's a matter of choice isn't it? If you choose to blow the dough, don't lament as if you are poor, because you could have the extra money if you save on extravagance. Instead, they end up investing money in stocks, businesses, give tuition everyday of the week, and etc. Bound by money or the perpetual lack of it. What kind of happiness and fullness of life do they pursue I wonder...?
Monday, February 23, 2004
So many things have happened in the span of one week that I can't really believe it. All I can say is that God is exceedingly good and works behind the scenes in mysterious ways.
I have been nagging my mum to clear the house of idols for years. I know deep inside her heart, she doesn't truly believe in Jesus, but I encouraged her to at least stop her worship of the deities, and follow me, reluctantly or willingly. She had been giving me excuses that she is waiting for my third aunt to be free to accompany her to 'send the gods' back to the temple, which is essentially returning the idols to the temples for safekeeping. I know she does it because she believes that she may offend the gods if she didn't do it in a proper way, and she may be right, since I do acknowledge that these deities may have certain power. Then one fine day, I returned home to find the altar cleared. No more idols, no more incense. I couldn't quite believe it. To shamefully admit it, I had almost given up on the issue. After nagging her for so long (yeah, I found myself nagging my mum...rare moments), I had in fact ceased to lift it up to God to handle it. All I know is that God is very faithful, even when I am not.
Another amazing thing that just happened is yet another thing that I have been nagging my mum about. She finally ended her 'subscription' to the 4D uncle. So far, she has been spending an undisclosed amount of money every week on 4D buying some regular numbers. I have been telling my mum that it is not necessary and not good to be hoping to strike 4D. I know her intentions are to win a tidy sum to help me repay my loans, but I have been reassuring her that loans can be repaid. I would rather she spent that money pumped into this bottomless hole on herself and eat better, and I've told her so many times. I'm so glad she finally listened. I was there when she told the uncle that there's no need to come again, and I couldn't quite believe it. I hugged her for pretty long...my household may not be rich, but I think I already have a lot. I praise God for my loving mother. I think she is the most wonderful blessing God has given to me in my life.
Hallelujah! God is so good~
I have been watching this soapy serial Light of a Million Hopes on Channel 8, because my mum is watching it, and my computer is in the living room, so I'm a captive audience. Sure it's dramatic, but the characters in the show are all living such broken lives that the show is full of angst. But the show draws me in, as much as it drew my girlfriend in, in that the show depicts strength of the human spirit, and though the events that happen in the show seem a slight stretch from reality, it is not inconceivable that the things that happen to the characters happen to real people. It is touching, more so than weepy taiwanese serials (I think this one is made in HongKong). But I really should be doing work now. Keke.
I have been nagging my mum to clear the house of idols for years. I know deep inside her heart, she doesn't truly believe in Jesus, but I encouraged her to at least stop her worship of the deities, and follow me, reluctantly or willingly. She had been giving me excuses that she is waiting for my third aunt to be free to accompany her to 'send the gods' back to the temple, which is essentially returning the idols to the temples for safekeeping. I know she does it because she believes that she may offend the gods if she didn't do it in a proper way, and she may be right, since I do acknowledge that these deities may have certain power. Then one fine day, I returned home to find the altar cleared. No more idols, no more incense. I couldn't quite believe it. To shamefully admit it, I had almost given up on the issue. After nagging her for so long (yeah, I found myself nagging my mum...rare moments), I had in fact ceased to lift it up to God to handle it. All I know is that God is very faithful, even when I am not.
Another amazing thing that just happened is yet another thing that I have been nagging my mum about. She finally ended her 'subscription' to the 4D uncle. So far, she has been spending an undisclosed amount of money every week on 4D buying some regular numbers. I have been telling my mum that it is not necessary and not good to be hoping to strike 4D. I know her intentions are to win a tidy sum to help me repay my loans, but I have been reassuring her that loans can be repaid. I would rather she spent that money pumped into this bottomless hole on herself and eat better, and I've told her so many times. I'm so glad she finally listened. I was there when she told the uncle that there's no need to come again, and I couldn't quite believe it. I hugged her for pretty long...my household may not be rich, but I think I already have a lot. I praise God for my loving mother. I think she is the most wonderful blessing God has given to me in my life.
Hallelujah! God is so good~
I have been watching this soapy serial Light of a Million Hopes on Channel 8, because my mum is watching it, and my computer is in the living room, so I'm a captive audience. Sure it's dramatic, but the characters in the show are all living such broken lives that the show is full of angst. But the show draws me in, as much as it drew my girlfriend in, in that the show depicts strength of the human spirit, and though the events that happen in the show seem a slight stretch from reality, it is not inconceivable that the things that happen to the characters happen to real people. It is touching, more so than weepy taiwanese serials (I think this one is made in HongKong). But I really should be doing work now. Keke.
Saturday, February 14, 2004
Today is a surprisingly simple Valentine's day. My Significant Other maintains a vehement dislike of Vday on grounds that it is a marketing sham. In a way it is true. Kinder shops take the chance to run Valentine promotions (i.e. sales); more cruel ones package something different and mark up prices. The significance of the day has become so hyped up that men and women all around the world crumble at the implicit pressure. I see my (male) classmates lamenting at the sheer costs of the bouquets, gifts and dinner that they had prepared for this annual event. Is the size of the expense an indication of the depth of love? It must be a marketing strategy, because what marketing strategies do is to create false needs, and this one is a big one at that. I guess maybe we'll just celebrate the day after, when things have gone back to normal, and couples become less lovey-dovey (what's the point then? What's the point?).
Weird thing happened just now. I was playing with cow cat as usual. Then this old malay man walked by and stopped. "You love this cat?" he asked, and I nodded my reply. "Is this your cat?" he asked again, and I told him that it isn't. So he bent down and, when I thought he was going to pat the cat, he scooped cow cat up and walked off. I thought he was going to the playground where there are seats to sit down with it, but he kept walking. Visions of cow cat sitting in a pot of boiling water sprang to mind suddenly and I went after him.
"Where are you bringing the cat to?" I asked him. "To my house. I'm keeping it. My son and daughter loves cats," he answered. At this point, my gut instinct tells me this man is a little mentally imbalanced. (Either that or he was screwing with me.) There was another cat beside me when he took cow cat, so why cow cat? He was heading to a lift lobby nearby, so he lives in this estate. Why tonight? He could have taken any cat, any day. I remained suspicious. "Can you give me back the cat?" I ventured. He said, "Sure" and wanted to pass cow cat to me, but I told him to let the cat down on the ground. The moment cow cat hit the ground, he bolted as fast as he could limp, frantically glancing back as if to check if this mad man was following him. The poor thing looked so frightened. He was so frightened he was running away from me for a while before he realized that it was me.
Weird thing happened just now. I was playing with cow cat as usual. Then this old malay man walked by and stopped. "You love this cat?" he asked, and I nodded my reply. "Is this your cat?" he asked again, and I told him that it isn't. So he bent down and, when I thought he was going to pat the cat, he scooped cow cat up and walked off. I thought he was going to the playground where there are seats to sit down with it, but he kept walking. Visions of cow cat sitting in a pot of boiling water sprang to mind suddenly and I went after him.
"Where are you bringing the cat to?" I asked him. "To my house. I'm keeping it. My son and daughter loves cats," he answered. At this point, my gut instinct tells me this man is a little mentally imbalanced. (Either that or he was screwing with me.) There was another cat beside me when he took cow cat, so why cow cat? He was heading to a lift lobby nearby, so he lives in this estate. Why tonight? He could have taken any cat, any day. I remained suspicious. "Can you give me back the cat?" I ventured. He said, "Sure" and wanted to pass cow cat to me, but I told him to let the cat down on the ground. The moment cow cat hit the ground, he bolted as fast as he could limp, frantically glancing back as if to check if this mad man was following him. The poor thing looked so frightened. He was so frightened he was running away from me for a while before he realized that it was me.
Friday, February 13, 2004
The other day I saw how dangerously distracting text messaging can be. I was behind this lady in the DBS atm queue, and when it came to my turn, the lady left after taking the card, leaving me to see her remaining bank balance. So I waited for it to clear, only to find 40 bucks dispensed. Apparently that lady was so busy typing smses that she had forgotten to take the money she withdrew. For a very brief moment, it was tempting to just keep the 40 bucks because she was walking away, and I was rushing for time, and I would have to rejoin the queue...but I ran after her to return her anyway. She gave me this look of utter surprise, said her thanks and went back to her distracting handphone.
Today there was this mediacorp crew somewhere opposite the road from my house. I strained frantically to see if there are any celebrities, but couldn't find any. Just when I was about to leave, I realized that one of the sloppily dressed men is Xie Shaoguang. His complexion is seriously bad man, and frankly if I hadn't taken another look, I would have completely missed him. I think the fact that this guy is in the top 10 actors is testament to the fact that Singaporeans are not completely hopeless in that they only favour good-looking shells of people.
Today there was this mediacorp crew somewhere opposite the road from my house. I strained frantically to see if there are any celebrities, but couldn't find any. Just when I was about to leave, I realized that one of the sloppily dressed men is Xie Shaoguang. His complexion is seriously bad man, and frankly if I hadn't taken another look, I would have completely missed him. I think the fact that this guy is in the top 10 actors is testament to the fact that Singaporeans are not completely hopeless in that they only favour good-looking shells of people.