I think I have been awake for about 6 to 8 hours today only. I haven't slept so much in a long, long time, thanks to my illness. I assume it's a cold, and I'm gonna try to ride it out without seeing a doctor. I also lost track of how many litres of water I've drunk so far...

The news just reported a 70% sale on toys sold at Clarke Quay because of renovation and moving out. Argh. If I'd known, I'd go down regardless of my condition. Sigh. Wasted.

Tomorrow jialat liao. I haven't prepared the tutorials for the next topic. I haven't seen the next practical. There's still SPA skill A waiting to be marked. And I think the week after I have 'S' paper lessons to conduct. This is a bad, bad month to have my ICT. Argh.

Blood brudder birthday today! We went to the Fish N Co off Park Mall. The small building made of green-tinted glass? (Quite literally a greenhouse...) Unfortunately, I couldn't eat most of the things I would have wanted to because of my nasty sore throat, so I settled for baked salmon. Today blood brudder Yuren is down with fever, and is being nursed to health by his girlfriend. Blood brudder Shaofeng has just recovered from fever. Another brudder has exactly the same conditions as me. We are one sick bunch. Heh.

The interesting thing is that halfway through our meal, there was a power trip. I think the music there must have been very jarring, because there was a sudden peaceful silence for that span of time. Maybe raising my voice to speak over the music has worsened my sore throat inadvertently! Argh.

Birthday boy in the centre...place was too dim for a good picture with the handphone...

I realized that I actually missed out quite a lot of things about my ICT that I originally wanted to blog about. I rushed the blog entry only because I had a very short allocated time to use the computer within the camp.

I am very glad that my platoon-mate Leslie (the guy who gave me a ride to camp and back too!) is now attending New Creation Church faithfully. Back when I was in the army, the entire company (about 70+ men) had only 1 Christian = me. Leslie was in my platoon, but backslid a long time ago. I had tried to bring him to church, and talked to him about God, but up to the day he completed his National Service, it was to no avail. So imagine my surprise when I took his car to camp last Monday, and he was playing his church's sermon cd in the car. On the way back, he was playing WOW worship cd, and we were both singing along. I'm not sure how the three guys (who aren't Christian) seated at the back took it, but it was a good ride home. We even had some theological debate about the tsunami. I still find something funny in New Creation's doctrines, but no matter what, the change in him is shockingly good, to say the least.

The food in the army cookhouse has improved by leaps and bounds since I was serving in the army. On the worst day, the food was average. Some meals, especially the farewell lunch, were quite tasty in fact. I had brought a fair bit of money to the ICT in anticipation of lousy food, and therefore many canteen breaks. In the end, over the span of 5 and a half days, I'd spent less than 20 bucks, and that's largely due to the fact that I needed to buy certain essential items. I think as a soldier, one of the most demoralizing thing would be sucky food. You are out there, baking in the sun, physically exhausted, and you know that the next break you have is mealtime, and when the food comes, how good it is will determine how recharged you will be. I say, commercializing the cookhouse is an excellent move.

I have fallen sick. Sigh. Bad sore throat and cough just sprang up overnight. I was perfectly fine yesterday, and now it feels like something is scraping my throat. Like that how to teach? Alamak.

I'm back at home! I didn't realize how much I miss home until I walked through the doorstep. My mum gave me a big hug too...awwww. I think I have to shelve long overseas trips for a while.

I have to go to Khatib camp for a retest. At 7 freaking a.m. in the morning. Wah kau. The army thinks every NSmen drives ah? Sheesh. And it's a bit ridiculous to have the retest 2 days after the previous test. I mean, if I can pass tomorrow, I would have passed yesterday already. If I can recover enough in 1 day's worth of rest to clear IPPT I must be already super fit lor.

2005's new resolution: I must run, on average, once a week, excluding my remedial training, or be engaged in some form of exercise like playing badminton. Actually, I just lack stamina. I clocked 1 minute and 7 seconds in my first round of 400m, but got 'punctured' after that...still wondering if I should train for that marathon my pastor talked about.

There was a parade today for the assumption of command of the new commanding officer. I think 6 years since leaving army is too long. I think most of us can't remember if standing to attention involves stamping the left foot or right one. Lots of cock-ups today. Some irritating people in command made life difficult for us. Army is really not known for efficiency. Anyway the next ICT is in March 2006. Still a long, long time away...

I miss TJ, colleagues, and students. Really.

Amazingly I managed to find a computer room in my camp! Although I can't access MSN or ICQ, but at least I can connect to my blog. Too bad I didn't chance upon this earlier...

Thank God for my platoon-mate Leslie, who called me up and offered me a ride to super-ulu place Sungei Gedong camp, which is located very near the Lim Chu Kang cemetaries. He saved me at least 16 bucks worth of cab fare. The best thing about this In-Camp Training (ICT) is that it is low-key and relaxed. My unit was on the verge of being disbanded a couple of years back, but now they put us back together again, so all the training has to start from scratch practically.

I don't remember using this much Hokkien in a year if not for this ICT. I think I am quite effectively trilingual now...bwahaha...The main purpose of this ICT seems to be a revision course on what we have learnt before, and for now the trainers are not rushing us for most of the drills. I guessed correctly: we came in to learn the new weapon SAR21 (made in Singapore), so it wasn't too bad. After so long, I actually got to fire some live rounds. Shiok man. Beats arcade games anytime!

That took up two days of the training. Yesterday we had some drills, and today, came the dismay. We had IPPT today, and I failed chin-up and 2.4 km. Sianz...confirmed need to go for remedial training soon. Now the whole body is aching. Ah no, my time here is up. I'll return home tomorrow though, so more updates then...

I met Huijun for lunch today at Miramar Hotel. I was determined to eat something pampering before going back for reservist tomorrow morning for a week till Sat evening, so we ended up in Ikoi restaurant. We've talked about going there for quite a while, and I guess today's as good a time as any to make our way there.

The food was great! Very fresh, and tasty. Of course, I've heard recommendations of other good buffet Japanese restaurants, so I guess I'll go try them out one by one. But the place was immensely cold. After waiting 25 minutes for her (Huijin: "15 min only lah!"), the place felt like a freezer. Even after eating hot food, I still had to fish out my windbreaker to keep warm. Note however that a meal there costs about 35 bucks, after all the +++. Be forewarned. I've included a couple of pictures taken with my humble 6230.

I don't want to go back to the army~ What's worse is that I cut my hair today to have 'slope' at the back and sides of my head. Now I look like a nerd again. And I have to wait for maybe a month for it to grow out. Bleah.

I'll be back (in Terminator voice) only on Saturday, so don't miss me (or my blog) too much. I hope I will return with a nice tan, shed a couple of kilos, and be fitter! (Yeah, right...) Anyway, God is good~ One platoon mate called me up and said he can come pick me up tomorrow morning. That would save me a whopping 16 bucks of cab fare! Hallelujah~

Ikoi Restaurant! Nice place, but freezing cold...

Mixed plate of sashimi...actual plate has more pieces than this...I ate some before taking the picture...hehe...

Here are some of the photos from the cell group gathering on Fri and Sat...I just realized that photos really enliven a blog. I guess pictures really do say a thousand words.

After the dinner that we prepared ourselves (Friday)...

Eating! Eating!

Me and Belle (Adrian's girlfriend), who is flashing very white teeth...

My cell, after a nice full meal...

The whole bunch of us...

I had a miserable 4.5 hours of sleep last night due to the gathering (refer previous post), and woke up late to go to school. Yes, school on Saturday. Never mind that it goes against national policy of 5-day workweek, since I volunteered for it. It's good money. It's slightly over a hundred bucks for that 4 hours of work, which includes a one-hour break. As good as giving tuition I reckon. But I hate waking up late and having to take cabs. I could have saved that money and watched a movie! But then again, there aren't any movies good enough for watching this season, so I guess a cab ride is justifiable.

I realized that one of my colleagues is really cold as ice to me. Did I do something to offend her previously? Or is she one of those icy beauties? I think most of the time, she replies me in less than 5 words wherever possible. In case you are wondering if I'm bothered because I'm interested in her, I'm not. I'm bothered because I find it irksome that someone in my own chem department is so unfriendly. I don't expect colleagues to become friends, but I dislike keeping them to strictly working relations. Cold functionality is just too cold for me.

I met my boys for cell group, and it's really starting to bother me that nearly every week somebody naps and overshoots the timing. I don't relish the idea of coming down hard on the issue of discipline at this point. But I'm beginning to see the need for it, especially if the irresponsibility keeps up.

Service ended early, thank God! Not that I mind services being long, but today a couple of us have to go down to a cell member's place (condo) to start fire for barbeque - same cell member (Eric) who provided the kitchen for our cooking yesterday. From now onwards I would swear by disposable grills. It costs a bit more than normal charcoal, but the fire is a lot easier and faster to start. Instant barbeque fire! Today is a historic moment: my cell and my cell leader's girlfriend's (future wife probably) cell had a combined gathering!

The problem was that the two cells had been quite disparate all this while, and it would be somewhat of a problem when Adrian (my cell leader) and his girlfriend get married. Especially when the guys in my cell hardly know the girls in the other cell. Ideally, we should have a sister cell so that in certain things we can collaborate. Single gender cell groups do have some minor limitations...anyway, we had quite a bit of fun. I think the ice has finally been broken somewhat. Interestingly enough, after some of my cell guys and I broke up with our respective girlfriends coincidentally within the same year, I discovered that for the guys in my cell who are attached, their girlfriends are all in Adrian's girlfriend's cell. I was joking with Adrian that maybe our cell guys should go there to find partners...

The food was good too, and surprisingly well within budget. I think most of the time these events feel overpriced because of the costs of booking a pit or a chalet. Again, I'll upload photos once I get hold of them. I should really consider getting a digital camera for myself...

I just came back from a cell group gathering. 4 of us shopped for groceries and cooked dinner! Actually I'm exaggerating. One guy Jay did all the cooking. I only helped to cut the potatoes and carrots. Since I'm a supporter of life-long learning, this year's resolution shall be to cook something decent by the end of the year. Methinks I'll try to cook pasta, but not the tomato-based sauce that can be bought easily, but with cream sauce which I like. Now the only problem is to get my mum to let me use the forbidden grounds i.e. kitchen.

I think I've lost a good friend (refer to post on 1 Jan for more info). After taking the first step in messaging her three times on MSN and two times on the handphone, without receiving any response, I believe it's time to just lay it to rest. If her pride is so much more important than the friendship, and if my swallowing of my own pride to initiate contact again is not enough, then I think I have only myself to blame for over-valuing the relationship in the first place. God knows I've tried. Thanks to all friends who tried mediating. Your efforts are much appreciated.

Epitaph for Friendship
If pride can tear this friendship into shreds,
'Tis better just to let what's dead be dead.

Here are a few of the photos taken on the Sunday when the Lions won the Tiger cup, courtesy of old friend Yuren, cameraman of the day.

The stadium, before the match began.

The crowds there (actually we were trying to photograph the girl in white, who looks good from where we sat).

Scoreboard at half-time...Singapore leads 2-0!

I'm touched that I've got colleagues so concerned about the progress of my love life. Other than the two of them who have been suggesting 'targets' to me, today there is a new addition to their ranks. One colleague, on hearing me mention that I would hope to find a girl from my own church ideally, was egging me to pursue this friend of hers, who happens to be from my church too. I told her that if she wanted to match-make she'd better do the introduction, and she asked me to go look for that girl myself...hahaha...duh.

I realized I made a conceptual error in one previous tutorial. Sigh. Sia suay liao. Argh.

Today I attended an absolutely boring course. It's for election officials, and it lasts from 9 to 5 pm. I generally can stay awake during lectures and talks, but today, I was bored to tears. Only one speaker was engaging. The rest were either reading from the slides, or spoke in poor English (the best one being "voting is secret", with the secret pronounced as cigarette...), or had a monotonous voice. I quite literally went there to eat and sleep. Dozed for a while, wake up for tea. Went back and doze, then went for lunch. Came back and dozed, then went for tea. Dozed again, and it was over!

What a wonderful waste of time. Except for one informative speaker, and one experienced official, most of the time, what was presented I could have better learnt from direct reading of the material. Hmm...I hope I don't do the same to my students. I would be extremely disappointed in myself if this kind of comment was passed about me. I aim to be an engaging lecturer!

Because I was in the Novena vicinity, I decided to drop by Colour Me Mine, a ceramic painting shop I used to work at. It used to be in Paragon, but it moved to United Square, and I haven't dropped by since. Some friends will know: I left the place due to a very heated dispute with my boss then. The ultimatum was that I was to return straight away to the shop to help fix a mess (which I still feel was largely not my fault), or lose my wages that month (which was about $300) and the job of course.

I did not return.

So that was the bad blood. I did go back to visit once after that, and close one chapter of my life, when I had resolved my feelings of outrage and all, and that boss was civil. But it has been 3 years since the last visit. I was wondering whether it was still surviving, and I guess it was. I found two ex-colleagues still there, but apparently the old team of part-timers are all gone. One stayed and became permanent staff though, and I met her there. We had a nice chat about old times. I still see myself in some of the photos up on the wall (face much slimmer then... =_=), and colleagues I have since lost contact with. Nostalgic, nostalgic. Maybe the next girl I pursue will get a ceramic present from the shop...and don't underestimate the cost of the gift - beastly expensive, even though the customer does his own painting.

Lots of memories there...

Singapore won the Tiger Cup!!!

Note that this exuberance comes from someone who doesn't even watch soccer. I prefer to call it patriotism...hehe...and this is the first soccer match I've ever watched live. The atmosphere! The excitement!

But first, the irritation. It was an ordeal getting into the stadium. Two gates were shut by the time we got there, and we had to queue for very long to get through one of the small gates. Then Shaofeng (birthday boy) saw a way in through the side. So we rushed there, and only Shaofeng passed through, before the bouncer (I think it's appropriate enough a title) closed the gap and stopped the rest of us, saying that this was not supposed to be an entrance. So we negotiated that since he let our friend through, he should let us through, else it's tough to meet up. But he was unmoved. In the end I asked him if he's going to open a gap for those of us on the side at all, and he said no. The guy behind me scolded him for not informing us earlier, and had us standing there like fools.

We went by another staircase eventually, and tried to get to block 37 where Shaofeng's friend saved seats for us. The police at that gate didn't let us through, saying that it's full, despite us saying we have seats. He suggested we try another entrance. So we searched a bit, and found a way to the top of block 37. But the policemen stopped us again. We said that we have seats already, and an old guy insinuated that anyone can lie about that, and that no one is supposed to pass.

Then some guys went through. I don't know how, but they went through. We protested that how come those guys could go through, and he repeated that no one is supposed to pass. And some guys slipped through again. At that point, if I had a gun, I might have pulled it out. Can't decide whether to shoot that policeman or the guys who slipped through though. In the end, we went by a long and roundabout route before finding the seats we were supposed to be at.

Ah, but the atmosphere was great! It was a sea of red (with one small section of white...for the Indonesian supporters). Even for a guy who doesn't enjoy soccer, I soaked in the atmosphere. The cheering, the shouting, the jeering (but not the cursing of course), and the Kallang Wave. There was this bunch of Malay guys seated behind us who were very amusing with the things they say, but generally vulgar and specific to the match, and so does not bear mention here.

And here comes my opinion of today's match. The Singapore team sucked. Big time. Except for the goalkeeper and right winger, who played consistently well. The midfielders were horrible. The Indonesian team was clearly better. They were faster, sprinting until no Singaporean player could catch up most of the time; they were more skilful in their handling of the ball in general. Most of the time, they tear through the midfield, tear through the defence, and maybe one defender gets to the ball in time and gets the team to safety. Or the goalkeeper saves the day. Singapore, frankly, won by sheer luck today. One early goal, which was unimpressive. One penalty, which was fortunately awarded because of a foul in the penalty box. It was just opportunities well taken. In fact, if you had seen the sole Indonesian goal, you would have seen a couple of their strikers dribble past our clumsy defence, and at that point in time, the goalkeeper merely deflected the ball and couldn't hold on to it (I still think it's largely the poor defending that is the fault), and another striker cut through mediocre defence and kicked the ball into the net.

Moral of the story: you can suck big time, but if you are at the right place at the right time, you can still score a goal. It's true isn't it? Sometimes life is like that. The most able, most capable, may not always be the winner. It is sometimes just someone who chances on that golden opportunity who nets the success. Ah well. I am glad it's us and not them at least. But I'm ashamed at the sight of Singaporeans jeering the Indonesian supporters and asking them to go home. Bad manners. Especially considering the fact that their team is playing better than ours. The good thing I see is racial harmony. Haha...soccer bonds all ethnic groups.

I will upload photos when I get them from my friend. Ole ole ole~

I love my timetable on Friday! It is empty all the way to 11.15 when I have one lecture, and nothing else after that! Which means I can leave at 12.30 pm on Friday! I work four-and-a-half day week! Yay! And having no lessons on Fri morning means that I can afford to be concussed in the morning. Which means technically I can even go clubbing on Thursday night! I just have to find somewhere to hide myself till 11.15 pm. Hmmm...the AV resource room sounds like a good hideout...bwahahaha.

I went to play pool with Shups and Bao in the evening. I'm determined to not let school work rob me of my social life and recreation. Played horribly at the start...but picked up form later. I'm still not playing as often and as well as I should be. Hmmm...I must try to insinuate a Pool Club into TJC. Then I can train all I want, and have it count as work! Hehehe...

Incidentally the counter girl was very friendly to me just now. Apparently she noticed me the last time I came in to play, which was New Year's Eve...the banal male instinct wanted to just go for it, but the rational part finds the idea ludicrous. Shups gave me a "Argh, men!" look, when I mentioned it to her. Well, the truth is, now my confidence level in this area is so low that to know a girl had noticed me is very flattering. Yeah, I know that's quite sad-case.

Anyway, the dumb thing is that I actually forgot to take my bag of today's purchases with me when I left the pool parlour. Thank God nobody took it; I had a hard time searching for a nice planner.

Yesterday's dispute has been peaceably resolved. I sent my colleague an email yesterday, actually, to clarify things, implying that I could not have missed the request form if he sent it in on Mon. Today he responded with an apology for submitting the form last minute (although he shifted part of the blame to two other teachers for not coming to a decision on venue and equipment till it was too late), so I guess I have no reason to further pursue the incident.

Anyway due to this incident, I had an idea to do up the request form online. I submitted the suggestion to EWSS (some civil servant suggestion system), and hopefully it will earn me some petty cash. In any case, I think having an online request form along with the online venue booking system should work well, since they work in tandem. Hehe...

I went cycling with my colleague, Sherry, today. My third time on a bicycle in my whole life, believe it or not. Haha...but it was fun. And a fairly good workout. I didn't achieve much of a tan, despite the blazing sun. Fortunately, I had no accidents, though there were some close shaves. Quite disappointing though, that it ended up with only two of us. Too many people say 'see first', and don't really mean it.

Weirdly enough, I saw a section of 7 policemen in bullet-proof vests, armed with assault rifles, patrolling past Parkway Parade bus stop. I wonder if it's linked in any way to so many people I know being summoned for reservist in this month, and myself...

I had a dispute with a colleague today. While I was in the staff lounge having lunch he came by at 1.25 pm and asked me if I got his AV request form. I told him that I had passed it to my vice president already, who handles the requests. Then he gave me an impatient look and said that the talks are starting at 1.30 pm and there is no one there yet.

My first thought was "What talks?" I also vaguely remember seeing his request form this morning only, though he insisted he left it in my letter slot on Monday. The policy is to submit the form 2 weeks in advance, or in the very least, 1 week. But at that point, I thought that wasn't important. I don't want to screw anything up so early in my teacher-in-charge career anyway, so I called my vice president, who said they were already setting up. So that blew over.

But it was weird. I clear my letter slots at least twice a day. If he had told me he left it there yesterday, it might still be that he did it after I left school, which was already unlikely since I left around 5 pm. But if it's Monday I don't see how I could have missed it. So I checked with my vice president when he took the form, and he confirmed that it was among the ones he took today, which were the ones I found this morning. My chemistry level-head, who is in AVC with me, was outraged too. We went to check around, and found that there was no email circular about the talks in the first place, and the only time it was announced was this morning to the year 1s. And we year 2 tutors were at the auditorium with our students during assembly, so there was no way we could have known about it either.

The part that pissed me off was that when he came to look for me, it was implicit in his words that the AVC wasn't doing its job properly up to 5 min before the talks began. Come on, does he think the AVC students are lying around the school whole day free, waiting for last minute requests? Does he think they are at my beck and call at any instant moment? And he dared to imply that the almost-screw-up was my fault, when he only informed the AVC today? I will talk to him tomorrow, and he'd better give a proper explanation. I don't buy his story - I am dead certain the letter slots were emptied every end of the day.

I don't think I'm kicking up too much of a fuss right? Why should I take the rap for someone else's carelessness?

Today must be the first sunday in 1 year and 1 month I am free. I have been serving in Sunday School for that period of time now, and have gotten so used to it that I did not realize how precious one free day can be. Although I had school holidays, but it's different. During the holidays, every weekday was free, but weekend was still the same routine. Today I felt out of routine, and that's refreshing.

Now to line up activities for Sundays...anybody free? Hahaha...

Finally one night with a decent number of hours of sleep. I love the 5-day week system~

After church service, I hung out with my cell group to watch soccer at a coffee shop. Needless to say, I was dead bored. Of course, to be fair, the match between Singapore and Indonesia was more entertaining than I expected, and Singapore actually played pretty well, and scored 2-0 by half-time. (I left then, so that's the only score I know...) But still, it's boring to me. If not for the sake of fellowship, I wouldn't even bother.

Give me anime anytime! Bwahaha.

Fifth day in a row running on about 4 hours of sleep. I realize that I do have some fortitude in this area, but I cannot operate like this next week, once tutorials start. I spent a good part of the day running around trying to settle IT problems. One colleague had a problem with her ethernet card; another colleague couldn't install a certain program, and subsequently after installation, cannot run it; another colleague wanted to modify some online lectures and needed me to transfer files, and explain a little bit on how to go about doing it.

Die lah like that. There are no tutorials this week, which is why I have some free time. In normal term time, how would I squeeze out so much time to attend to so many people? And this is excluding my AVC requests from other colleagues. But I do recognize that it is an excellent portfolio, if I don't screw things up.

I didn't like the lecture I delivered today. There were many pauses along the way, and I seem to stone out at some points. It's partly due to lack of sleep I guess, so my brain was running a tad bit slower. But the main thing is that I didn't see how I can add any value to the slides. There weren't many other things to emphasize or explain for the topic today. I was actually thinking furiously of what extra nuggets of information I can throw in, but there just weren't any. And one group of students at one point was 'parroting' what I was saying, and audibly at that. I asked them if they would like to get out of my lecture, and for the first time in that lecture I heard a hushed silence. After the lecture I went to ask that bunch who their tutor is, and etc, just to terrorize them a little bit. Sigh.

Due to some clash of schedule, the next topic which was supposed to be done as a make-up lecture has shifted back into the main time slot. Which means that there has to be a shadow lecturer. Which means that it's moi. Again.

I so desperately needed to unwind. Ended up playing pool from about 7.30 pm to 1 am...still surviving now on 20 total hrs of sleep for 5 days though. I started the game clearing 6 balls in a row (still can't beat that record), and my form went downhill from there till late in the game. I had fun, but was on the verge of dozing off at many points. What am I still doing on this blog? I should be sleeping.

ODE TO MUM

The little things she does for me
Are thoughtfully considerate,
And all these things I clearly see
Are quietly affectionate.

She closes the windows when I bathe
In case I catch a chill when done;
My favourite food is always saved
For me, although she may get none.

Within my reach she’d place my cup
To ensure that I get water;
And knowing she will wake me up,
I sleep soundly without much bother.

Raising me was surely harder,
All by herself, through all these years;
She lost a husband, and I, a father –
No one else has seen her tears.

I see her gradual aging though,
Bit by bit, and day by day;
Still her health does worsen slow,
And I can only dearly pray.

She is irreplaceable
In my life, and I can boast
That it is clearly traceable
She is the one who loves me most.

My mum~

Since the first day of school I've been working myself silly (average 3-4 hrs of sleep per day so far). Because of some scheduling issues, I started the orientation week shadowing another lecturer (the system now is that there are two lecturers simultaneous delivering lecture in two separate lecture theatres...one main lecturer and one 'shadow'), and my own lectures which was supposed to be 2 weeks away was shifted up by one week. So between handling the shadow lectures, which I actually don't have time to bother about, I was rushing out my own lectures' notes and PowerPoint slides. It was also a fault on my part for not finishing the work beforehand. I guess I did not anticipate a shift in schedule...

I took over as teacher-in-charge for the Audio and Visuals Club (a.k.a. AVA in most other places), and my deputy head of chemistry is standing in as assistant (how ironic). Originally there were 2 teachers in charge of the AVC, but both left the school through transfer. So I took over from scratch, more or less, as there's no official handover in any way. Good thing the IT Resource man is still around, so have to pick up everything from him. Just had a meeting with the AVC executive committee (exco) today. Decent and well-behaved fellas. Fortunately I teach one of them chemistry, so it should be a bit easier for me. Because of this assignment, I have many other teachers coming to me wishing me luck/condolences etc. Apparently this portfolio is quite heavy, because nearly every big event needs the AVC, and if they ever screw up, it would be very, very noticeable. One teacher commented that if I want to climb higher, just make sure nothing goes wrong for my term as teacher IC, and it would look good for me.

Big if there.

I'm again staying in the IT committee for this year, which apparently is one of the more exclusive committees, because it actually requires some prerequisites - namely, IT skills. Already, the econs subject head has come to me requesting help to do something interactive for the lectures. In 2 weeks. I haven't taken a look at it yet, but I think it's next to impossible. Between my own lectures to prepare, and the standard tutorials, there's still a hideous SPA skill A marking to be done (if you don't know what this is, good for you...ignorance sometimes is really bliss). Bad, bad timing. And worse still, I don't think she knows exactly what she wants me to do for her either. 2 weeks is quite impossible.

In the school, the normal non-academic workload is one PDP (extracurricular activity) and one committee. However, I am now designated successor of the current webmaster, so he's slowly transferring his responsibilities to me, as he is transferring to MOE HQ by end of the year. So now, I've to maintain the TJC webpage, and occasionally troubleshoot server issues, such as the ezlink card readers at staff office etc.

So, all things considered, I would be a very popular person from now on. When any event is coming up, the teachers will look for me for AVC resources. Anything IT based and software related, I might be sought for help too. And anything to upload, update or change on the web portal will be me too. (I think I may put up a queue machine at my table to issue waiting numbers from now on.)

And I also realized that if you consider the things I'm in charge of, it covers an astonishing range. I'm in charge of almost all the hardware, save for computers, in the school because I'm in charge of AVC; I'm in charge (not alone, thank goodness) of much of the software because I'm IT committee, and the computers somewhat (hey that covers almost all the hardware!); I'm in charge of all things web-related, so that covers the virtual. Wah! Bao ga liao (cover everything) ah!

Methinks I may be being groomed. These do not seem the type of responsibilities given to a new teacher half a year in the school. Either that, or all the major arrows ended up deflected to me. At least I retain my 3 classes and no civics duties...I think this year I shall see my efficiency tested to its limits.

After I posted resolution number 3, I think God became particularly gracious. Yesterday was first day of school, and somehow it ended up that for lunch about 16 of us from various departments went together. Then my colleague Sherry asked me to go to Parkway for ice cream (aside: those of you who have not tried the ice cream from this little shop Scoops, next to MPH in Parkway Parade, go try...it's excellent!). So I asked around to see if more people are interested, and it ended up a 7 person ice cream outing. Which further ended up as a karaoke session for 5 of us! It was very enjoyable, but I think one was wiped out by the end of it. After dinner, I bought this Rottiboy bun to try, since I've read about it in the newspapers. It's really delicious~

Tomorrow I think we newer teachers are going to Pizza Hut for lunch. Another outing! I shall reserve my complaints for later in the term when everyone becomes absorbed in mountains of work again.

Today we had this facilitation training from 2 to 5 pm. Goodness, it was dead boring. And there's one more session tomorrow! But one interesting thing: the trainer looks exceedingly like Jack Neo. Especially from the side view. Other than that, I don't think I picked up anything new today. Sigh...

In light of very recent events, I think I will throw heart and soul into work and ministry. It's time to do what's more important and take my mind off affairs of the heart. For someone who thought he was quite emotionally handicapped, I sure am taking all the things that have been happening more heavily than I thought I would.

It is truly a depressing start for 2005. Started it falling out with one good friend. Another good friend seemed to be quite put off by my earlier blog post. Followed that putting another friendship on the line, albeit under drastically different circumstances. Ah great. It's the 2nd day of new year and I've already started fulfilling resolution 2.

But those aren't the friends I would want to lose.

First and foremost, I thank the friends who were worried after looking at my previous post. I was more or less letting off steam, and I am quite alright. The complaints in each resolution are real. Those reflect some of my inner frustrations. The resolutions and any stated course of actions are not real though. My last line stating that I'm not good at keeping resolutions was to indicate I didn't mean those words in bold. It was meant to have dramatic irony more than to be controversial. Come on, how can you think I'm totally serious when resolution 4 states something as ludicrous as 'I resolve to grow fat'? Nevertheless, thanks for being concerned guys. I'm not planning on axing friends. Really.

I just came back from a wedding dinner. Of my 23 year old niece. Unbelievable. My cousins are almost all married, and now it has fallen to the next generation to keep the wedding banquets coming. A more interesting thing is that this niece came by to ask me if I recognize her. Turns out that she just graduated from TJC and she claims I've taught her before. I found that weird, because I teach year 1 classes, and she is year 2 as of 2004. After some checking, I realized that she was from the class that I helped a colleague relieve 2 lessons of civics when my colleague went to Germany for some official business. Small world huh? Wouldn't it have been weird to have this student in class stand up and call me uncle? Hahaha...it would have been quite amusing had it happened.

Wow 1st Jan has quite a long overall entry in this blog. I talk too much today.

I don't usually try to blog this long (1500+ words), but I guess circumstances dictate otherwise.

What an eventful new year. And I don't mean it in a good way. After considering the events in the later part of the day, what I lamented to be a boring expedition of a staff meeting at the Jurong Birdpark might in fact be the highlight of the day. At the same time I realized sadly that even in my department, though I get along with mostly everybody, I have no allegiance to any clique, no loyalty to any group. The guys are on their individual own. The ladies, though I'm on friendly terms, are essentially still a girls' group. I belong to nowhere. A similar feeling to what I sometimes feel in church exists as well. I feel sudden pangs of loneliness here and there, once in a while, like somehow, even though I am mixing amongst them well, I am nowhere in particular. An almost clique-less existence might be in fact the loneliest one.

After that some of us colleagues went off to Delifrance to chill out. I was so apologetic to my colleagues for being there about 10% of the time. The rest of the time there while everyone was chatting, I was on the phone, trying to coordinate a new year's eve outing with friends on two fronts. Frankly I am not known for initiative, as my ex-girlfriend would firmly agree, and trying to settle an activity and a location among four individuals (including myself) and another separate group of friends was a challenge. Not to mention, a thankless task. Is it so hard? All I want is to spend the new year's eve with people I care for. Nothing more or less than that. Thankfully, finally, we settled on KTV, which seems to be the activity almost no one had strong disagreement against. Note to self: Yes, I know I'm killing myself trying to please everybody. It's about time I stopped it. Yes, Jess, if you are reading, you can sms me to tell me "I told you so." I wouldn't mind at all.

So I met Steph for dinner, which ended up with unexpected detours. That was alright, because I could see the poor girl was stressed till she was almost frowning nonstop over her work. We all ended up reaching Kster late, and there was sudden changes in who is coming and who is not. Collin brought along a bottle of vodka, of which I drank a fair bit, and it inadvertently caused the escalation of events that came after. After the KTV, we ended up splitting routes. Collin and his friends headed for pubbing, and the rest of us opted for pool, with two other friends joining us.

So here's where the real problem came in. A debate about the tsunami victims escalated to such a huge level that I fell out with a good friend tonight over it. I think the disagreement over viewpoints was not half as aggravating as her insistence that I didn't see her perspective. I don't think she even entertained mine to start off with, but that's a separate issue. I do realize that the vodka made me less conscious of myself, till I didn't really care that I raised my voice, but the frustration of the incident, piled up over the entire frustration of the day which I thought I dismissed, tipped me over the top. I apologized for the raising of voice, but the apology was dismissed, and she left. I know that is her way of doing things. But to me, it was added aggravation. This is certainly not the first time we had a big quarrel. It's blogged somewhere else sometime ago.

Do we really have such a problem with each other? I don't recall quarrelling over issues such as these so badly with any other friend. All these is in fact piled up over a separate issue with her which I'm really concerned about, as it kinda fully 'materialized' today. I admit we both might be fairly stubborn about our own viewpoints, but as most arguments would naturally end, nobody needs to convince each other to change his or her perspective. The consensus is usually reached when both parties (or more) acknowledges each other's opinion, and let it rest at the fact that they have distinct viewpoints. My frustration comes from the fact that in most of the arguments we have, I am so seldom acknowledged. It's like I'm always plain wrong. I may be nice. I may be patient. I may otherwise settle for status quo as my ex-girlfriend so utterly hate, but I have my values, my opinions, my principles. I do not ask for everyone to share them. But surely, it's not impossible to utter a "yeah I do see that point of yours". It's not about who's right or who's wrong. Between friends, I've always held that the ideal conclusion is that "we are both right, but also entitled to our unique opinions."

Then after pool some of us went for supper. We waited there for dunno how long, and nobody attended to us. The other guys seem contented to wait. But I think after picking up some things from my ex-girlfriend, I will no longer suffer in silence. I went up to the guy taking orders and just said, "Can you take our order please? We've been waiting here for quite a while." The guy was apparently apologetic, and I was fine with that. Shups remarked that it's due to the vodka. I think otherwise. I have learnt one very precious lesson from my ex-girlfriend: assertiveness isn't always a bad thing. Sometimes it's better to just be forthright and do something, than withhold, imagining all the possible bad consequences, and do nothing, then end up sitting at the sidelines whining about how things are so bad.

I just read an email that a friend sent in relation to my blog, and other friends' blogs. Now I know why Shups was asking some of us if we had checked our mails, because I think she expected us to be offended. I do get his point in relation to the Pacific Coffee Company incident, in which I ranted about poor service, in which he said that we should put ourselves in his shoes, etc, and why not blame ourselves that we did not read the signboard properly that it closed at 10.30 pm. I'm not sure if he has worked in retail or service-related industries before though, but it is not a crucial point. I worked in a retail shop before, and yes, I had customers who stayed on beyond the closing time because of whatever reasons they may possibly have. Yes, I did hope they would leave punctually, and yes, I also do inform them in advance of the closing time. It is essential whether I go around telling them "Sorry we're closed" or "Sorry we will be closing in 15 minutes' time", small as the difference might be, because the latter gives allowance for leaving, whether they choose to do so on time or not. The former is a clear signal that I will not entertain them any longer, and they are not welcome. Another common way of doing the former is switching off lights/fans/aircon etc and hoping people get the hint. Even that has subtlety, and does not directly offend the customer.

The difference between what the guy did (repeatedly reminding us they have closed) and what I do while I was working part-time is that I do not drive the customers away. I may stay an extra half an hour (longest being 55 minutes overtime) without earning overtime pay, but that is job commitment. If you do not have the basic courtesy to serve customers, to be polite, and sometimes suffer yourself a little bit, which I often do, just so that my customers save themselves one extra trip down to finish what they couldn't finish (ceramic painting), which costs them an extra 15 bucks thereabouts, then jolly well don't be in the service industry. Please be aware I owe them no obligation whatsoever, and from the time they leave, I still need at least 15 minutes to half an hour to settle the credit card machine, and account for money in the cashier, and I don't get rewarded for it in any way. But the next time I see them return, I know I've done a great job. If not service industry, go try being a white-collar office worker or something. Work anywhere else, and let me know if telling people you are closed on the dot you are supposed to knock off pisses anyone else off.

Most exciting thing of the new year: I came home, and was waiting by the lift, and this Thai guy with blood over half his face, bleeding from his forehead, stormed past me towards a crowd of Thai workers. The last I heard before I entered the lift (quickly) was shouting, things breaking, things slamming against metal grills of shops etc, and a huge commotion all the way till I entered my house. I should feel relieved that I didn't get a blow to my head, or blood on my face at least, despite my dispute tonight. Ah well, things could have been worse, couldn't it?

Happy new year, everybody. I sure hope not every year starts this way.