Fri 28 Apr

Today was a long day for me. I took over one extra class for practical, so I had 4 hours of lessons consecutively, followed by a lunch break, and then another 2-hour practical. I was doing marking before my first lesson, so it was a packed day through and through. The only thing I'm glad for is that the long, long week is over, and there's a long weekend! Sort of.

Sat 29 Apr

The big day has finally arrived! I got up early in the morning, put on my shirt and tie, got ready my jacket, and headed down to the bride's place. I was early, so I waited for my cell leader, the happy groom, to arrive. The girls weren't ready yet, so in the end, the whole schedule was pushed back somewhat. Eejay, another one of the 'brothers', was carrying the (heavy) roast pig with me up to the bride's place. When we reached the door, the first thing the 'sisters' threw at Adrian was to sing a passage of scripture from Song of Songs to the tune of James Blunt's 'You're Beautiful'. We had to join in as well, eventually. The next section of torture was for Adrian to answer some specific questions that I think men in general would forget. Therefore all men wanting to get married should go formulate a list of bride-fetching FAQs such as 'when and where is your first kiss?' and stuff like that...and stuff much more obscure than that. He answered 2 questions wrongly, and didn't know the answers to the other 2, thereby getting served the four punishments of sour, sweet, bitter, and spicy - pure lime, thick honey, blended bittergourd, and chilli padi mixed with chilli sauce.

After that was done with, and the 'sisters' received more angpow money, we were let in to the house, whereupon we were made to sing a couple of acapella songs and shout some lines. All in all, relatively tame, as Adrian had insisted it to be much earlier on. He is adamant that Christian sisters shouldn't humiliate their brothers, so I guess it went as he wished.

There was a long tea ceremony at Adrian's place due to the sheer number of relatives he had, and then we headed to the church for the wedding. Fortunately the flash file I made for him ran as it was supposed to, and the timing was perfect. Ps Yeang Cherng preached an interesting message, translated to Mandarin by his wife. Adrian sang a song for Belle, and Belle's girls sang a song for them. The more touching part was when they played a tribute presentation for the parents. Till now, of all the Christian weddings I have attended, no bride has ever failed to cry during the parents' appreciation segment. It's usually the same pattern - the groom says some sweet, lengthy and articulate speech, and when it's the bride, she says a few words, gets choked on her emotions, and finishes what she wants to say in a flood of tears and interspersed with sobbing.

There was a short break before the wedding dinner, held at Chinois restaurant in Orchard Parade Hotel. The FCBC people were housed in a private function room so private that we were still sitting there happily, ignorant of the fact that most of the guests had already left, and the waiters were having a debrief outside! The food was pretty good, although the dishes weren't the conventional ones. Especially the missing sharksfin soup (a dish I usually look forward to), which was replaced by a 'Buddha jumps over the wall', and I think this was the first time I had this dish in a wedding dinner setting.

Finally, the big day was over. I was just thinking to myself that next time when I am getting married, maybe I'd just do everything myself. I probably could handle the presentations myself, do up the RSVP website, design the invitation cards, maybe even write and sing a song I write myself, and play the guitar myself (after I learn it). After all, it's a lot of hard work to be delegating to people, and I may find it hard to convince myself that I can't do a better job than the people I ask the favour of. Then again, every groom I've talked to says he is extremely busy with wedding preparations, so maybe I overestimate myself. Heh.

Sun 30 Apr

While waiting for my boys to come for cell group, Ps Eugene (one of the senior pastor's two right hand men) came by, and asked if he could join me, since I had spare seats. I was in a somewhat awed mood, and I realized that people in high places have that effect on me, probably because of the amount of respect I generally accord to authorities. Anyway, he said something that impressed me greatly, "Are you still teaching? Where ah?"

Now I've only interacted with him slightly in maybe four occasions. Two were during the Project CRuSH anniversary dinners, once was at some youth internet conference when I was roped in to participate in some panel, once was when I was pitching the tribe t-shirt design idea to him with Ps Yeang Cherng to get his feedback and approval. I'm amazed at the fact that he actually remembers my face and profession. Not an easy feat for someone who has about 3000 youths under him. In fact, he initiated small talk with my boys when they finally arrived massively late, always with a big warm smile.

The youthnet is in really good hands.

Yesterday I went down to Marina Square to go shopping with my gf. Apparently, I have not gone there for quite a while, because the formerly boarded up section has been opened up. I am seriously impressed, as the place now reminds me a little of KL's Times Square, in its layout and open structure. It is now a huge sprawl of shops, but what I find most interesting about the place is that it has a good mix of posh shops and affordable brands, and a big number of speciality shops, such as Creative, Crocs, the Planet Traveller, and etc. We were there for almost 3 hours, and we didn't really finish combing the whole place. Looks like all that money sunk into renovation and expansion paid off very well in terms of design of the place, but it doesn't seem to be drawing in the major crowds yet. Maybe there are many as ignorant as I am? In any case, I would suggest bringing along a jacket or something if you plan to shop there for a long time. Many parts of the shopping mall are so cold that I think you can leave a piece of meat on the floor overnight and it wouldn't decompose.

My computer monitor gave me a warning yesternight when the screen broke into stripes of colour, and required knocking on the back to get the image right again. I have wanted to upgrade my old CRT monitor to a LCD one for a long time, but I just didn't feel justified to do so, as my CRT was still surviving. As I expected, it died on me today. I headed out to Sim Lim Square swiftly, and after spending an hour plus searching around, I finally decided on a Viewsonic 19" LCD monitor. Now I've rearranged my computer table, and with the big box of the monitor, I packed up my Chinese comic books into it, and made space in my cupboard for more movies and anime!

I wonder if I can sell the old CRT to the garang guni (correct spelling?) man. Hmmm...

I've already counted - I need to relieve a total of 6 hours of lessons this week. Why is the term used 'relief'? It sure isn't a relief to me. The only relief I see is at the end of this week. Fortunately I finished many tasks way ahead of time, so the 6 hours shouldn't cost me much in terms of productivity at least.

I've just finished watching a rather old anime Flame of Recca. It took me quite a while, since this term has been busier than usual, and the series is 42 episodes long, so I could only watch on occasion. It was quite an absorbing anime in terms of action sequences, but on hindsight, the plot is actually quite lacking. Main plot goes like this in summary: Boy (Recca) can produce flames from his body. Boy meets girl. Girl can heal. Evil man wants to capture healing girl to attain immortality. Boy fights off enemies trying to capture healing girl. Evil man organizes death match competition for Recca and friends to join. If they lose, they lose healing girl; if they win, they get all the spoils of the battles (and they had no choice but to join). Amazing thing about the plot is that the death match starts before halfway into the series, and lasts all the way till the last episode. The whole death match thing seems to be a showcase of how the underdogs (Recca and company) manage to overcome adversity in the form of opponents stronger than them.

Not much of a plot eh? It started off with some historical ninja stuff, and then it degenerated into an elaborate battle sequence that stretches over 20+ episodes. Hmmm.

Next in line is Monster. Considering how long I took to finish 42 episodes of Flame of Recca, I think this monstrous 74-episode Monster (ok ok cheap pun here) will take me months to finish. Then again, there's always the June holidays, so there's still hope. I just checked my inventory of anime, and found that there are still about a dozen series I purchased that I haven't watched yet. From the looks of it, I have anime to last me till next year! Bwahaha.

Fri 21 Apr

I started the day with a couple of meetings, then went to take my TA class, which turned out to be a total strength of 7. 4 students in the class went for debate finals, and in an interesting twist of circumstance, they were facing off with VJC's IP students. The students were going on and on about how they could not afford to lose, and indeed, I also thought that it escalated into a battle of college pride. Not that we are enemies with VJC, as many people mistaken assume, but rather it is more like the age-old Chinese adage 一山不能藏二虎 (one mountain cannot hide two tigers). Particularly because of the physical proximity of the two colleges, somehow there is a greater sense of competition embedded therein. Anyway, the rest of the class who were missing were involved in the sports day later in the afternoon, and for that one hour with the remainder of the class, we were just having dialogue (i.e. talking crap).

I had originally volunteered to join the staff 8 x 100 relay (I think I sprint fast, although the lack of exercise these days probably has dulled my legs), and then I realized that sports day clashed with my promotion ceremony. I wasn't excited about the event actually, because this first promotion is just a natural progression. The men would be promoted in a year, and the women, in three years, because civil service counts NS liability as work experience so as not to disadvantage the men who had to serve the nation. It would only be a major concern if someone is not promoted within the rightful timespan. Now the next promotion would be a big deal, because that one would be based entirely on merit. How soon it comes would reflect how much the school values a teacher, and hence that one would be more of an honour. As it is, those of us who went were occupying ourselves with marking, talking, reading, or playing games on a PDA while we waited, as were many of those present. Apparently, not that many people wanted to be there, because about a third of the audience silently vanished before the ceremony was over.

The day didn't end here, however. After the ceremony, we rushed back to school for a PTD (Parent-Tutor Dialogue), which I still can't, for the life of me, understand why it would clash with sports day. I met the parents of about 7 of my students, and I have a better understanding of my students' family background, and gained some insights to the students themselves as well. I think a church friend of mine was right about my 'Barnabus anointing', which essentially is a spirit of encouragement. I don't usually have negative things to say about my students, unless it is something really serious. I do see the best in them that I can, and that often transmits nicely to the parents. What I am really concerned about is that a couple of parents are extremely bothered by whether the child can achieve Band 1 or not (the highest grade).

The long day finally ended at around 9.30 pm, and a bunch of us headed down to Bedok Food Centre off Tanah Merah to have supper. I had prata, mee goreng, satay and a milo dinosaur - all rather tasty. Especially after a looooong day.

Sat 22 Apr

I went to Tampines Mall to meet 5 of my students for lunch at Seoul Garden. This in itself is interesting, because I am no longer teaching them, having taught them only for the first 3 months before they were posted to different classes. It is a pretty heartwarming thing to know that those 3 months had enough of an impact for them to continue to meet with and talk to me. Anyway I think Seoul Garden is overpriced. Deceptively so too. The price reads "$16.90+++". When I paid, it averaged out to be $23 per head. I think Seoul Garden makes a better student hangout on weekdays when it's half the cost. I ate a ton of beef, and I was still eating when everyone else stopped. But I do think that my appetite is not as gigantic as it used to be. Must be age catching up to me.

I then spent a quiet evening with my gf watching VCDs. My cupboard is really getting overloaded with movies as well, although the main culprit is anime.

Sun 23 Apr

I had a minor scare at church service when my bag was misplaced. I still can't track what exactly happened, but somehow my bag was left at another row of seats. I met a couple of boys who I will try to follow up with. Who knows, maybe they'll join my boys for cell group? Immediately after service, there was a session on the Da Vinci code, which I thought was high time, considering the widespread success of the book, and now, an upcoming movie, and I doubt many people are in the loop as to what exactly the book talks about.

Personally, I find it ironic that people would find it easier to accept the contents of a best-selling novel which throws up very controversial points and find it difficult to accept the contents of the bible, which to a non-Christian would probably seem equally controversial at least. If people can unquestioningly accept Dan Brown's claims to his 'facts' without bothering to research deeper into the truth, why can't they have enough faith to believe Jesus' claims in the bible? I find it a greater stretch of imagination and faith to believe Dan Brown's so-called historical facts than the vast amount of literature and history that can testify to the Christian faith.

I would dare say this - whoever can believe in what Dan Brown writes definitely has enough faith to suspend the logical, and hence is more than adequate to believe in God.

In the evening, there was a last briefing for Adrian's wedding. It is finally almost here. This weekend, my cell leader would cease to be single. Exciting stuff, isn't it? Weddings, to me, always fill the air with a sense of romantic excitement. I'm not looking forward to the five days before it though. This is a week of covering duties for others, and I am seeing one tight schedule ahead. The wedding, and the long weekend, will come as a timely and much-anticipated escape.

There's something about diamonds that I've been wondering about for some time. A couple of years back, I accompanied a friend to the jeweller's when he was choosing a proposal ring. The jeweller explained many things in great details, and was advising my friend to purchase a diamond that has been certified by GIA (Gemological Institute of America) and a couple of other equally reputable institutes, so that the diamond won't lose value over the years if you want to sell it.

Frankly, I wonder why that is a selling point in the first place. Now why would someone buy a proposal ring, with the anticipation of selling it, therefore needing certification to prevent devaluation? Doesn't that implicitly say that the person has a 'in case someday i file a divorce' mentality? The other function, in my perspective, that a diamond serves is merely for showing off, else I see no other point why it should be as big as possible. Now if the purpose is for the wife/fiancee to go flaunt the diamond, I would have thought the design, cut, or other physical attributes would be more vital. I can't imagine a woman going, "Look at this - a 0.5 carat grade A diamond certified by GIA to be worth $3000!" Will she bring along the certificate to prove her claim then? Anyway, what does it prove? That the woman is marrying someone rich enough to afford an expensive ring. Most of the time, when I see a friend flashing a big ring, I seriously am hoping for the sake of my friend that her husband-to-be has as high a grade of character as the diamond on her finger.

I also doubt that a woman should or would be thrilled when they receive a big diamond ring, if the proposing boyfriend actually cannot really afford it. If she does, then I think an adjective nothing short of materialistic would be a suitable description. I would think it irresponsible if the guy spends a fortune getting an impressive ring for the girlfriend to show off, and then end up having to take a more massive renovation loan as a consequence. Unfortunately, I know a couple of cases like that. Over the years, I've heard people say all sorts of things about 'market rate', that the proposal ring should cost 1.5 to 3 months of the guy's salary (I heard so many different variations within that range of values), and I can't help but think that it is propagated by jewel merchants, and bought hook, line and sinker by unthinking consumers. If that were true, then Bill Gate's wife, for instance, should be carrying a diamond boulder on her finger now.

Of course, what I am offering is a poor man's perspective. Perhaps if I were born with a silver spoon in my mouth, this wouldn't make me bat an eyelid at all. In any case, I'm glad my gf is sensible, as practical as I am, and far from materialistic.

Fri 14 Apr

Good Friday happens to be rest-a-lot day for me. After such a long week, I decided to sleep in as late as I can, waking up at 1 pm for lunch. Actually I slept about 9+ hours in total, because I hit the bed at 3+ only. In the evening, I went for my journey to the west to somewhere off Jurong to cell brother Eric's place for a barbecue. Interestingly enough, that night, the PRCs outnumber the Singaporeans as the PRCs in my cell managed to bring some friends along, and we didn't.

The funny thing was that at one point, Collin, Eric and I were upstairs, and we were dragging our feet to go to the pit, complaining that usually when we go to barbecues we are the ones doing the hard work - starting fires, cooking the food, and etc, so this time round, we would sit one side and be freeloaders. Once I got to the pit, and saw that the fire wasn't ready, I immediately took action, and got the charcoal ready and ablaze within 10 min. Later on, I realized that Eric and Collin were doing the cooking the whole night. So much for wanting to slack somewhere and freeload; it's just not in our nature.

We ended by watching a MTV-ish rendition of a song written by someone from my church, with the video pieced together from the Passion of the Christ. Halfway through, I had tears in my eyes. I realized that I cannot watch the Passion, even clips of it, without tearing. It has been so every single time I watched it, and in the same way, I cannot understand how anyone can watch it without being affected...

Sat 15 Apr

My gf and I went to Kbox in the morning for K-lunch. I think they finally realized that it is too good a deal, so now K-lunch has changed the price to 9 bucks flat for everything on the menu (which works out to $11 per person after all the additional charges). It's still affordable, for sure, but nowhere as cheap as it used to be. I found some new songs that are good for warming up the vocals, but in any case, I think my throat really was sore...I had some difficulty with certain songs I usually have no problem with. Anyway, it was still fun. It has been a while since we last went to sing karaoke together.

After that, we went shopping for a while. Parkway Parade is a minefield of TJC students, and I still don't see why they are so incredulous to see two teachers together - the looks on their faces always make me feel like some freak-show exhibit or something. I bought a G2000 shirt for a whopping $69, which is made more painful because the G2000 card or a DBS card could have reduced the price by 20%, and I had neither. It is a plain white shirt, with some ribbed design, and since my cell leader insisted on white shirt and black pants for his band of brothers for the wedding, I figured it is worth investing in a higher quality shirt.

At night I caught the session with Minister Mentor Lee on TV. There were a few things I noted from the show:

1. MM Lee is still extremely lucidly sharp. The answers which he gave cut right to the heart of the issues raised, and that was downright impressive, even if I didn't agree with everything he said.
2. The people were interrupting one another and MM Lee. A lot. I couldn't quite stand it. I see it in some of my kids in my cell group, and I see it in some students, and I think it's a bad trait reflecting disrespect. I wouldn't dare interrupt MM Lee if he had something to say.
3. Some of the people in that group of youths had little substance. In fact, some of them asked some questions which I think are shallow, and a couple of them behaved in an attention-seeking manner that I wondered why they were there in the first place.
4. MM Lee made a point somewhere that indirectly made me realize this: Singaporeans are apathetic towards politics, if at all, as an outcome of political stability. If we had huge social or political problems, we would see massive disorder and riots like in our neighbouring countries. If things are really going very wrong I find it hard to imagine that people still wouldn't care. Anyway, if people were really apathetic, then the last session with PM Lee wouldn't fetch such a high viewership now would it?

Sun 16 Apr

I was so excited when God spoke to me about certain things that I wanted to share with my boys during cell group. I preached a mini-sermon to them about evangelism with great gusto and passion, and I thought to myself, "Wow. That almost sounded like a proper sermon." When I later queried them for responses, they had nothing to say.

Bleah.

Never mind. I'll just write it down and put it on my metamorphosis site tomorrow.

Yes, today marks the end of the momentary extreme busyness that had plagued me for the past couple of weeks. There were Mardi Gras rehearsals on both Mon and Wed, and therefore I had to stay in school till everything was finished, by virtue of my being in charge of the AV club. I managed to leave the school early enough on Tue to go catch a movie at least, fortunately.

Inside Man is a rather intelligent movie, featuring a perfectly planned bank heist that will eventually reveal itself to be far more complicated a plan than one may expect. There is solid acting from Denzel Washington and Clive Owen (even though he was mostly behind a mask), but the censored vulgarities made the conversations somewhat disjointed at times. Jodie Foster looks pretty good for her age (then again, I'm pretty sure Hollywood actresses can afford high-grade Botox or plastic surgery...) in the show, and the movie plot was engaging throughout. There is good humour at times in the movie, and it isn't one of those thrilling car-chase kind of heist movie, so look out for the acting and unravelling mysterious storyline.

Today was Mardi Gras itself! Lessons officially ended at 11.55 am, and the Mardi Gras proper was to begin at 7 pm. Most of the students and staff managed to go home, get some rest, and get changed, but I was one of the unfortunate souls who stayed throughout, again by virtue of my role as AV teacher-in-charge. The fortunate thing is my level head drove out to lunch, so my gf and I went along. We went to eat at Beach Road Prawn Noodles, which like many other famous food places with road names in their names, are not found at the said roads. The soup base is excellent, although it leans on the more expensive side a little. Hmm...think I might have mentioned this shop in an earlier post...ah well.

I was scheduled to sing in an item, along with colleagues Ivan and ZH, and I was nervous. It wasn't so bad at the rehearsal yesterday where there were few students around. Today, a substantial audience was present. My throat felt slightly sore, so that made things worse. I was telling ZH that even if I had to give an impromptu chem lecture to the whole cohort, I wouldn't feel nervous. But singing, that is something else altogether. Probably because it is not an arena I am confident in, although I know ZH is trying to boost my confidence gradually by asking me to join him for such performances at every opportunity (though I don't know why he's doing it). One good thing was that the assigned holding area was the Billiards Room, so I played pool with Ivan for a while, and that helped me relax. In actual fact though, once I walked out to the stage area to standby, and seeing the crowd, I clenched up.

ZH was right though - that the nervousness is temporary, and that once I start, I'd be riding on the high that follows. I think some of my students are really sweet. One of them, who saw me at yesterday's rehearsal, announced to her class today during lesson to come and support me. And they really did come, a big bunch of them cheering loudly. And a couple of students from my pre-disbanding term 1 class too, who gave me a soft toy flower. Originally I had hoped that I wouldn't see familiar faces among the crowd because I think I'd feel malu (i.e. embarrassed), but contrary to what I expected, their support did take the edge off my nervousness. I'm not sure if I sang off-key at any point, but after gaining momentum, it was fun being up there. In fact, later on, a few of us younger teachers joined them in one of the mass dances, which proved extremely nostalgic. I actually somehow still remember the moves and sequence! From a decade ago.

Although the event brought me a lot of headaches (maybe the pimples too) because of the AV logistics and all, I think the Mardi Gras did add a lot of life and colour to college life. The HODs, VPs and principal were pretty sporting too earlier on, and I think that helps to draw the college closer together. In any case, I'm still relieved that it is over. Although I must say, being forced to stay back in school so late has made me finish a lot of work in advance, for the sake of killing time, so that is a fringe benefit. Heh.

Argh. Pimple outbreak. So many, all at the same time. Argh. Is it a delayed consequence of going for reservist (=dust, mud, dirt, sweat)? Weird weather these days? Too heaty a diet? Not sleeping enough because I'm doing a flash thing for my cell leader's wedding? Even though it's not like I take good care of my complexion, it is still irritating to see an outbreak. Bleah.

My cell group went to visit my cell leader's new house today. I must say, it looks extremely zen (i.e. empty...furniture not in yet). Now I know yet another person who lives in ulu Punggol. Everytime I go there, I think exactly the same thought - a person who doesn't have a car and stays here is one poor fella. At least, my cell leader's flat is big and roomy, unlike some of the others I've seen in Sengkang, the neighbouring district, where a claustrophobic person may suffocate to death just being in the living room. For dinner, we ordered in pizza; not that we had much of a choice, since I don't see any coffee shops or food places for a mile or so. I see no amenities - neither provision shop nor clinic nor anything else. Give me older estates any day.

I finally played pool in the evening with J! It's been countless months since I last played (hmm...on hindsight I think it was 2 months ago, but it felt too long nonetheless), and we only played for 2 hours, which is hardly enough. I don't think I'm as accurate as I was back then. Pool needs constant practice too, like sports. At this point in time, maybe I really can lose to my students, who are trying to get me out to play pool with them.

I can't wait for Thursday to be over. The school carnival Mardi Gras a.k.a AVA nightmare is on Thu night, and I have rehearsals to supervise (and participate in) tomorrow and Wed as well. Argh. Good Friday will be indeed a Godsend holiday. After this week, I think my head will feel less heavy. Fortunately this event is only once every 2 years. I think I should try to see it from the students' perspective, and maybe I'd feel better about the event; right now, all I see are logistics issues.

What a long drought after such a long post. The more unfortunate thing is that I haven't done anything much recreational, except catching Ice Age 2. I think, in general, for an animation to hit the local cinemas with a sequel, it must be of some quality. In actual fact, there were dozens of sequels for various animations such as Lilo and Stitch, but those just went straight to video, and they can found in VCD/DVD shops all over, probably because they weren't hits. So far, we have seen Shrek 2 (only? can't remember others before it, if any) hit the big screen, and it was a pretty entertaining film as well. Frankly, I found Ice Age 2 more humourous than Ice Age 1, even though the plot may be a bit more lacking. I was laughing a lot throughout the movie, due to sometimes witty and sharp dialogue, and other times because of just silly (but funny) scenes. It's worth a watch, for entertainment's sake.

Other than that, I'm just plain busy. I miss playing pool! And going KTV. Sigh.

A very long post ahead. Read at own peril. Heh.

Wed and Thu went by quite mundanely. If anything, I only find the week extremely long. Speaking to other colleagues, I noticed that everyone seemed busier in term 2. Most of us feel like many weeks have gone by when in fact, only 2. For me, it felt even more surreal when I realized that it was only last week I was at reservist, and it felt like weeks have gone by since.

Fri was a very long day. I started with a chemistry department meeting, which was to analyze last year's batch results, and how to better handle the current batch of year 2's. Right after the meeting, some of us went to meet Daniel, a professor from NIE, who took the time to come down to TJC to explain the latest offering from MOE - PDCM, which is essentially a master of education (MEd) programme. Afer finding out more information about it, I think I will not pass on such a good opportunity, even if it meant a heavier workload. Interestingly enough, it looks like I'm going back to becoming a student, albeit part-time, again. I had 4 hours of lessons after a short break, and then it was off to MJC to attend a briefing on PDCM. I think a few of us are rather keen on this, so now the main thing is for us to get approval from the principal.

After that, we had a chemistry department dinner at Swensen's. It was a treat from the heads of both levels, as a reward for the good results of last year's chemistry students, as well as a farewell to our colleague Joan, who will deliver her baby girl next week, go on maternity leave, and then probably join ministry side upon her return. By the way, the seafood mushroom chowder (or soup?) from Swensen's is a must-try. Sure, it costs $6.50, but it tastes fantastic. Soup, with a lot of fish, prawn, clam, mushrooms in it, served in a bread bowl. Anyway, here's the chemistry department of TJC (short of 2):
















Today, I went to Brighthill Dr (光明山) with my second aunt and uncle, and mum. My mum insisted I go because it's been 15 years since I last was here to visit my dad's urn, and now I am considered to be on a good start in my career and all. There was a heavy traffic jam on the way in, and the place was packed with people. According to my mum, the place is generally quite quiet on weekdays, but today, the long tables for people to place their offerings were almost fully packed from end to end. I managed to take a couple of shots of the place.
















Of course, considering that it's 清明节 period, it is only understandable that the weekends will be full of people. That's my second aunt and uncle in the foreground.

















Here's a shot of the offerings and the people in the place. I was intoxicated with the smell of incense till I was choking away. They understood that I cannot handle the incense and joss paper anymore, so I left them to their rituals and stood quietly in the background. When they were done, we went into the columbarium to look for my dad's urn. It took us a while, but we managed to find it.

















The urn in the centre of the second row belongs to my dad, and the reflection in the glass is me taking this photo by the way. I stood there for a while in prayer, and in contemplation. My heart felt heavy, but I didn't feel any evident emotion. I think I have lived too long in his absence to recall the weight of his loss.

In any case, while I was there, I was reminded once again of the many questions I asked when I was a teenager prior to my conversion; in fact, it was precisely because I started having these doubts that perhaps I became more open to Christianity.

The offerings were the main thing that bugged me till no end. Now, joss paper and paper replicas of real world items are burnt as offerings, and incense and candles are burnt to be food for the spirits, so why do people offer normal food anyway? Why aren't the buns, the bee hoon and all thrown to the fire? If the spirits can consume the normal food, then surely they can take the joss money without having them burnt. I see my mum writing my dad's name on the stacks of joss paper, and I wonder how would the spirits receive these in hell (hell here refers to the place where all souls of the dead go to await reincarnation in Chinese belief)? Special hell courier service or do these just drop out of the sky all the time, which means that some unfortunate soul will get a whole house dropping on him in hell perhaps. And there are so many people with the same Chinese name, how would they know which joss paper is theirs? And the name is written only on the first piece of the stack, so will the rest of the nameless stack reach the intended recipient? Why not write IC number, which is unique to every individual? Is there some worldwide distributor of joss money, else there is no standardization of hell currency is there? Why don't I just print out a piece of joss money, put a face of some ancient Chinese official dude, and print a gazillion zeroes on it so that the recipient would be filthy rich?

Nowadays people burn all sorts of things. I see paper replicas of mobile phones, cars, houses, which lead me to even more questions. People burn mobile phones, but surely someone needs to burn a satellite dish or something, else who's going to provide the hell mobile network? People burn TV sets, but who's going to provide the hell TV network? People burn cars, but who's going to burn the fuel? It would be quite tragic for a spirit to receive a car, but cannot drive it without fuel (or battery, for that matter), unless I assume anything burnt on earth will end up in hell, so there would be an endless supply of fuel, and trees (from forest fires) for that matter. I see cars and houses with paper figurines inside to represent chauffeurs and servants - these will become spirits when burnt? To serve the intended recipients? Then they are all going to look pretty identical, at least. The paper mobile phones are near the size of real ones, and so are clothes. But cars and houses are so much smaller. Will they be automatically resized when they reach hell?

These questions form merely the tip of the iceberg of contemplation that drove me away from everything I had been doing when I was young, till I considered myself a free thinker in the years prior to my receiving of Christ. I am still under the suspicion that all these rituals must have originated from some shrewd businessman who invented the whole system of belief so that he can make tons of money off selling low quality paper.

God gave me an interesting revelation while I was there though. When I was wondering why the food isn't burnt as well, I thought of the Old Testament, where the Israellites also burnt incense and animal sacrifices at the altars. I knew all along that burning of incense represented prayers that ascends towards heaven, and God then reminded me that fire itself was an essential part of offering then, because He is also known to be an all-consuming fire. In our sin, we should all be consumed by the fire of His holiness. When the Israellites offer animal sacrifices, it needed to be a burnt offering because other than the spilled blood to pay the price of their sin, the burning represents the animals being consumed by God's fiery wrath in place of the Israellites, which thus implied confered purity.